Grape Squishing
by Little Miss Firebright
Summary: After an encounter with the mysterious villain, Biojinx, Minoru Mineta is cursed to have bad luck and randomized mortal enemies! And the worst part is, if he dies, he just comes back to life again! All sorts of terrible things are in store, but he can break free if he only becomes a quality human being. So...there's not much hope. *Serious Mineta bashing, be warned*
1. vs Biojinx and Parapsych

**Since the fic is getting bigger, here's the basic rundown:**

 **The first five chapters are plot and world building. The story can be read as complete with just those five chapters. The rest can be read in no particular order! So don't feel intimidated by the larger amount of chapters. This is a very low commitment fanfiction.**

 **This is a Mineta smackdown fic. He's gonna die. A lot. Want to see Grape Juice get squished by a character you actually like? Feel free to request ANY vs character you don't see, or even a duplicate of one which has already been written. There aren't any limits, besides the T rating.**

 **Other than that, have fun! This story does _not_ take itself all that seriously, but the plot makes sense, and I keep everyone in character. Which unfortunately includes Mineta. More on that in my original author's note below. Thanks for reading! :) **

**~o~**

 **Writing this had drawbacks. Sure, I got to write about Mineta getting beaten up constantly, but my standards wouldn't allow him to be out of character. Which meant I had to give some thought to how that disgusting little slime ball thinks.**

 **I had to take that bullet, so the rest of you could enjoy this fic. I hope it was worth it, and that this brings a smile to your face. I leaned into the hatred, and wrote in a purple document in Comic Sans while listening to nothing but 'Peanut Butter Jelly Time' for the few hours it took to get this all put together, and as a result, I think I got Mineta's personality down pretty well.**

 **Rated T for Mineta's existence, Bakugo's language, anime violence, and because I already know I'm gonna enjoy the beat downs too much.**

 **I originally wrote this with Mineta's annoying English dub lisp. But it was pissing me off, so it's gone now. XD Sorry, that's the one Mineta-ism I can't write true to his character, it was really annoying to write/read. It may still show up very occasionally, if it's worse than normal for any reason.**

 **With no further ado, let's begin! :)**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Mineta, and the thought of doing so was so gross I needed thirty two showers and bleach for my brain to forget about it.**

 **~o~**

Minoru Mineta ogled the rows of lacy panties in the lingerie section, drool dribbling down the side of his mouth. ' _They have some sexy underwear here_ ," he muttered under his breath, reaching out with his sweaty hand to stroke the soft, cotton fabric, vivid fantasies springing into his mind. His hand was touching the delicate panties, and one day they would be touching-!

Bystanders gave the drooling boy a wide berth, shooting him vaguely disgusted glances as he laughed quietly to himself, stroking the fabric perversely.

"Mina would like the leopard print ones," Mineta mumbled, looking at the neon pink leopard print panties, "and Yaoyorozu would like the satin ruffle pair, I just _know_ it!" His keen eyes caught a glimpse of lace from the side of the display, and he pulled out a skimpy thong with scarlet bows and spider webbed lace, his eyes fevered with imagination. "Uraraka isn't fooling me, I just _know_ she'd be a dirty whore in the sack!"

Caught by inspiration, the disgusting teen started gathering panties. "I'll give them to the girls," he muttered out loud, his heart pounding hard in his chest. "And then they'll want to try them on for me! Gotta see if they look good after all, and if they don't, maybe…they'll take them off!"

His arms full of panties, and his head full of unrealistic porn, the distracted hero-in-training bumped into another shopper as he exited the underwear section. Panties spilled everywhere, and the woman's bag clocked him hard in the forehead. " _Hey_!" Mineta complained, his fantasies breaking off.

He stopped, staring up at the young woman with hair like burnished sunshine. _'Oh crap, she's hot!'_

"I'm so sorry," the gorgeous blonde apologized, wincing. She saw the panties on the ground, and her forehead creased. She looked at the short pervert, who still had drool on his chin. He appeared to be undressing her with his eyes, from head to toe, not even bothering to hide his stares.

She seemed to make a reluctant decision. Her jade green eyes focused on Mineta, her irises shifting to orange and dilating mechanically like the zoom ring of a camera. Light flashed from her pupils, leaving the boy blinking.

When the light faded, the woman covered her mouth with one hand, looking nauseated.

Mineta gaped at her, excitement throbbing through his pants. "Was that some kind of X-ray Quirk? You could've just asked!" he exclaimed wildly, the panties forgotten.

" _Excuse me_ ," the woman breathed, her voice strained, pushing past Mineta at a run.

"Tch." He watched her go, making careful note of the curve of her thighs from behind, some of the manic light fading from his face. ' _I still think she's hot_ ,' he thought to himself, wondering if he could find a video of a porn star who looked like her to entertain him later. ' _Maybe bondage? Ehehehe…_ '

He leaned down to pick up the panties, and headed to the front register of the clothing store.

He bought the underwear, making plans to hide them in the girl's desks the next day at school. Then they'd try them on later, not knowing his hands had touched them…

His purchases secured, Mineta walked out into the shopping center, blinking in the light of the sun.

"Wow, U.A students are so _hot_!" a teenage girl squealed to her blue haired friend, and Mineta snapped to attention.

"Why _thank_ you," he simpered obscenely, but she wasn't looking at him.

A highlights reel from the Sports Festival played on the screens of the mall. Todoroki skated down a slide of glacial ice, power frosting from his fingertips while cold wind blew back his white and scarlet hair.

As they walked away, the blue haired girl responded. "Right? Isn't Todoroki just the cutest? Although I like Bakugo, too, just look at his energy!" Her friend said something Mineta couldn't make out, and they laughed together.

Mineta stared with badly hidden disgust at the flat screen. Why did everyone think those guys were so cool? Just because they were born with flashy powers…

"Guys like Todoroki don't know how good they have it," Mineta grumbled, kicking a soda can on the ground as he walked. "One day, I'll be ten times as handsome, and way more powerful, too! That guy will be _begging_ for forgiveness at my feet for daring to take the spotlight from me!"

The thought cheered him up a bit. And after all, he thought to himself, it was a dangerous world full of villains. Maybe something would happen to those guys, and there would be more ladies for Grape Juice.

One day, he'd be so popular, girls would be lining up just to _look_ at him, and he'd be sure to give each and every one some _attention_ …

Dust flew as a boom echoed over the shopping mall.

A scaled claw burst from the dust, slamming into the tiled floor with a thunder crack, leaving a crater of shattered stone. An angled, reptilian head burst out of the cloud of dust next, so high it nearly brushed the ceiling. The shapeshifted villain roared, his draconic voice reverberating over the mall…

' _That thing is huge_!" Mineta thought, gaping as he stared at the towering lizard monster. He paused. ' _That's what she said, ehuhuhu.'_

Civilians screamed and ran. The monster roared, the spiked frills around his neck flaring with the colors of the sunrise-

"This looks like a job for Grape Juice!" Mineta yelled, popping the sticky balls off his head, with the plan to immobilize the lizard creature to the ground…from a distance, of course. " _Eat my sticky balls!_ " he shouted, throwing the purple spheres from his head in a barrage.

The balls stuck to the lizard monster's scaly hide, and pinned his back leg to the ground. The shapeshifted villain looked at his leg, and then focused his slit orange eyes on Mineta, an ominous clacking in his throat…

"That's _right_ , you aren't going anywhere now!" Mineta boasted, glad he had worn his hero costume out shopping. He must look _so_ cool…

Scales sloughed off the creature's back leg, regrowing near instantly, leaving Mineta's purple balls stuck uselessly to the ground…

"Oh," Mineta said, gaping, his legs freezing up with surprise.

The spiked frills around the lizards head glowed brighter like a sunburst, and brilliant firelight shone within the creature's gaping throat…

"You have _got_ to be _kidding me_!"

Mineta screamed, running for the exit as fire bloomed behind him, roasting the floor where he'd been standing. He heard shouts behind him, and alarms blared, but the would-be hero didn't even look back once.

' _That thing is too much for me!_ " he told himself as he ran, bursting out the doors. The lizard creature's long tail was still in the parking lot, whipping through the air, and Mineta backpedaled. He ran towards the alley between buildings instead, looking for a place to hide while all this blew over. ' _The pros will handle it!_ _There's no way I can fight something like that!_ '

After all, he was going to be the most popular guy in the world, someday! He had to protect himself for the sake of all the girls, even if it meant running away a few times! _'Oh, Mineta, you must take care of yourself,'_ the imaginary women in his mind cooed, stroking his 'manly' chest. ' _We need you! Don't worry, I'm sure other heroes will beat that thing!_ '

"That's right…for the sake of the girls!" Mineta panted out loud, rounding the corner into the alley. He screamed when he saw two figures in the shadows, nearly wetting himself. "Who are you?" he demanded, and blinked with surprise when his eyes adjusted. "Oh hey, it's you!"

The woman from earlier stood in the alley, her burnished gold hair hanging over her crossed arms. The figure behind her stood in shadow, and spoke, her voice smoky and low. "Is this the one?"

"Yeah, this is him," she confirmed, looking down at Mineta with disgust. "He could feed you for a decade."

Mineta's surprise took a backseat to his perviness. " _Are you saying you ladies want to eat me!?_ Line up, there's more than enough Mi- _net_ -a to go around!"

Shadows clung possessively to the woman's skin tight uniform as she walked, relinquishing their hold jealously as she moved languidly into the light. Black horns began at her forehead, curving around her head to twist into the air, demonic and graceful. Her uniform was dark, with jagged golden lines arching down the hems, complete with wicked claws at the ends of her gloved fingertips.

Her predatory eyes gleamed with violet light. Purple smoke curled around her body like dragons of mist, playing through her long, purple hair, which seemed to fade into actual mist at the edges... "Well done, Parapsych," she murmured, addressing her blonde companion.

"Parapsych…" Mineta repeated with his lisp, taking a step back. "Hey, I know that name! You're a villain with a mind reading Quirk!"

Her Quirk was limited to once a day, but it was so powerful she could see every thought a person had ever had. Mineta hadn't recognized her without her steampunk uniform and face mask. Were these two part of the villain attack? Or was it just bad luck they were here too?

But he didn't recognize the horned woman wreathed in mist. "Who are you?" he demanded, popping two balls of in his hands, taking a fighting stance. "I'm a hero, you know! So don't think I'll go easy on you because you're a woman!"

She laughed, revealing needle sharp rows of black teeth. Her eyes gleamed brighter. "He's _perfect_ ," she murmured, baring her fangs in a disjointed, snakelike grin, and Mineta shrieked. He threw ball after ball at the villain, so quick his Quirk barely had time to regrow before his sweating hands snatched the balls from his head. The woman's body dispersed into violet mist. The balls passed harmlessly through the cloud of shimmering incense, which smelled strongly of jasmine and sage…

' _I have to run_!' Mineta thought wildly, as his Quirk did nothing at all to the enemy. ' _I have to_ …'

Little smoke dragons spiraled about his legs, holding him in place, their bodies long and sinuous in the Eastern style, with little wings and leonine heads, and the woman's hands reformed from the mist on either side of his head. "My name…is _Biojinx_ ," she murmured, her face appearing from the cloud of incense. Her cold, purple lips kissed Mineta's forehead. Any enjoyment he might have taken from the kiss vanished at the cold agony that shattered through his head.

Grape Juice screamed, the sound lost beneath the roaring of the lizard monster he hadn't been willing to fight, and glittering mist dove into his nose, ears, and open mouth hungrily, as if it had been waiting to strike.

Biojinx let her hands fall, and Mineta hit the ground with a thud, his vision hazed with purple and glittering sparks. She stood over him, a vision of long legs and athletic curves he could appreciate even while possibly dying…

Colors and sounds melded and overlapped oddly as his consciousness faded, but he saw Biojinx turn away on her heels, unhurried and somehow satisfied. " _Let's go…Parapsych…_ "

Mineta lay numbly on the ground, unable to close his eyes, as his heartbeat thundered in his ears and his vision went black…

He woke up some time later lying in a pile of garbage.

Mineta groaned pathetically, rolling over. Garbage crinkled as he moved, and flies buzzed angrily as they took off from his face. It stunk like rotten cabbage and dirty socks. "What _happened_?" he whimpered, sitting up in the dark alley.

" _AH!_ " Mineta exclaimed, shooting to his feet as he remembered _Biojinx_. The mysterious villain was nowhere to be seen, though he could still smell her jasmine and sage incense lingering in the air beneath the stench of garbage.

He looked at his hands, and at the sliver of sky visible above the alley, gaping. His vision was tinted purple, ever so faintly. He shook his head and slapped his cheeks, but the tint remained.

What had she _done_ to him?

"Okay, Mineta, don't panic!" he instructed in a panic, his voice high and shrill. "It was probably nothing! Her attack failed! Yeah, that's gotta be it!" He almost believed himself, too.

Mineta stumbled out of the alleyway. The banana peel on his head slid off, landing just in front of his foot. He slipped, crashing headfirst into a pane of glass carried by two workers outside the mall. "Hey, watch it!" the construction worker griped. "Look what you did! You'd better be willing to pay for that…"

His head pounding, Mineta stood back up shakily, staring at what he'd crashed into. "A…a mirror?" he said out loud, dumbstruck.

A black cat streaked across his path, yowling angrily, and Mineta jumped. Above, the clouds began to darken, as if threatening a sudden thunderstorm, and he heard the unmistakable cawing of crows.

With a bad feeling growing in his stomach, Mineta broke off at a run down the street. "Sorry about the damage!" he called out hurriedly, the maintenance workers shouting after him.

' _What's going on_?" he thought, his little legs pounding on the pavement towards the main street. ' _What do I do?'_

A man bumped into him as he ran down the sidewalk, nearly knocking the young hero over. "Hey, watch it!" the stranger complained. A second, unrelated stranger slammed into him next, as if he hadn't seen him at all, and this time, Mineta fell into a puddle by the side of the road filled with mud. It was the only puddle on the entire street.

The clouds darkened overhead, a few drops splattering across the pavement, though the sun had been shining only a moment ago. Mineta scrambled to his feet, the scent of jasmine and sage strong in his nose, and the misty purple haze thickening in front of his vision.

"Mommy, why is that boy wearing a diaper?" a little girl asked loudly, pointing directly at him. "He's so ugly!"

The mocking caws of a crow seemed to come from right above him, and Mineta looked up just in time for a splat of white goo to hit his forehead. The little girl giggled, her hands pressed over her mouth.

' _Am I cursed_?" Mineta thought, with an awful fear growing in his stomach. He ducked, barely avoiding a man's swinging arm, as he _happened_ to point out a building to a friend, nearly clocking him in the head.

' _I must be cursed!_ ' The villain had some sort of bad luck Quirk, there was no other explanation! With a cold pit in his chest, Minoru Mineta broke into a run again, taking a shortcut through the warehouse district to avoid the crowds of people with their shoving and accidental punches.

That villain…she must have done something terrible to him, even though he was loveable and innocent! But why? He hadn't done _anything_ wrong!

The school! Mineta grasped on that goal, his eyes flying wide. If anyone could help stop the bad luck curse before it killed him, it was the teachers of U.A! All he had to do was get to the-

His nose broke as he slammed into a man's back.

Clutching his face, Mineta groaned, the hot taste of blood filling his mouth with a metallic tang. His nose _hurt_ , and his voice was sharp with pain. " _Hey, wath where your goingth, TH'TUPID!_ " he yelled, his lisp even worse than normal.

The man looked normal from behind with his short cropped dark hair, but when he turned, Mineta couldn't help but stare at the plague doctor's mask clasped over his nose and mouth, shaped like a leather crow's beak…

The man's eyes were cold as he appraised the bleeding, pathetic boy who had just shouted at him in the abandoned warehouse district.

No one was close enough to hear if he screamed.

" _Oh_?" Overhaul said coldly, drawing out the syllable, his eyebrow quirking up.

~o~

 **Author's Note: The villain name 'Parapsych' is taken from the word 'Parapsychology', which is the study of paranormal mental phenomena, such as hypnosis and telepathy. Also cool because it sounds like 'Parasite'. I didn't describe her much, to avoid detracting from the main plot, but I couldn't help but give her a cool name.**

 **Biojinx's name is pretty obvious. Taken from Bio, or 'Life', and Jinx, or 'Curse'. I think it sounds awesome, and I love her character design. More details of her Quirk will show up in the next two chapters, so keep an eye out!**

 **Speaking of, the next two chapters will be complete and uploaded within the next day or two. These will be pretty short, as a general rule. Thanks for reading, everyone!**

 **Oh, this is going to be** _ **so**_ **much fun! And I'd like to apologize to the Mineta fans for this story…all nineteen of you…this may not be the fanfic for you. XD**

 **~Little Miss Firebright**


	2. vs Overhaul

**Disclaimer: I don't own My Hero Academia, despite the guy who tried to sell it to me in a dark alleyway for a bag of jellybeans.**

 **~o~**

Mineta didn't understand why, but at that moment, he was so afraid his legs wouldn't move. His mouth gaped, and though he tried to speak, nothing came out. Killing intent alone froze him in place, as he faced true evil.

"You bled on my coat," Overhaul noted dispassionately, slipping the white glove off his fingers. "And you're covered in filth."

He touched his coat with his bare hand, and it dissolved into strands of thread, which disintegrated to dust.

A second touch restored the fabric, the destroyed threads winding and snapping back into place like magic, as if it had been created anew. Overhaul pulled the newly cleaned coat over his shoulders, looking down at Mineta with cold, golden colored eyes.

His gaze narrowed. "But there's a worse smell in the air than trash. I've smelled this rotten Quirk before. You…had a run in with Biojinx. So, that old witch is still alive?"

Mineta stared at the restored jacket, his heart pounding. ' _W-What power!'_ He spoke up, swallowing the blood in his throat from his broken nose. "You know Biojinx? Tell me – how do I break her Quirk? Am I gonna die? What…" he stopped, not knowing what he was going to say. Could he really trust this guy, who scared him just by existing? Even the air around him seemed colder almost. But without information, he might…

A pocket knife clattered on the ground at Mineta's feet. "Kill yourself," Overhaul said flatly, his hand in his pocket. "Before the save point is established. You don't have much time. Once her Quirk takes hold, there's no stopping it until it breaks on its own."

Mineta stared, fear in his round eyes. "There…there has to be another way!" he said, feeling sick. "There just has to be!"

Smoke seeped from his skin in a mist with a hiss, filling the air with jasmine, and time seemed to slow and condense around Mineta all at once. " _What…what is this? H-hey, help me or something, don't just stand there!_ " Purple sparks shot over his vision, and he heard faint music.

Overhaul stared pityingly. "Too late."

It only took a moment for the smoke to clear, and then Mineta was revealed, without any kind of damage. The purple haze was gone from his vision.

"I-I'm okay!" Mineta gasped, patting his chest. "I can't believe it, I'm alive-"

Overhaul's hand closed around Mineta's face, and he exploded into a vapor of blood and tissue down to the molecular level.

He didn't have time to shout. It was all so _fast_.

His consciousness spiraled through smoke, as if falling through space, and all at once he was staring at Overhaul again, gasping with shock and fear. "What did you just do to me?" Mineta choked out, patting himself to make sure he was really still alive. "Was…that some kind of illusion?"

Even with his face covered by the plague doctor's mask, Overhaul seemed displeased. "Did I just kill you, then? I can't remember. You alone will keep your memories from the 'reset'."

He walked forward again, and Mineta was frozen with fear, his staccato heartbeat nearly a heart _attack_.

"I've always wondered if my power could destroy her reality Quirk now that I'm not a brat anymore, but it seems the old witch is as strong as ever…but perhaps once wasn't enough."

Mineta _did_ have time to scream this time, as Overhaul's hand closed on his shoulder.

The pain was indescribable. It was like all the cells in his body caught fire all at once, and tore themselves away from the others viciously, and then he didn't _have_ nerves to feel the pain anymore, he was nothing at all, without even thoughts to prove he existed…

He had the sensation of falling through smoke, as if in a tunnel of purple incense, and then he was back, staring at Overhaul in the same position as before.

He did find the strength to run, this time, but the man's gloved hands caught his arm in an instant, his grip like steel.

"Was that not strong enough?" Overhaul wondered dispassionately, since it was obvious by Mineta's reaction that he'd been killed already. He barely seemed to notice Mineta's struggling. He kicked Mineta's feet out, and pulled off his other glove. "Perhaps full strength then…"

Mineta dissolved so quickly he was only a red smear on the pavement, but before Overhaul would have had time to restore him, smoke whirled and the _annoying stink_ of jasmine and sage sang through the air…

"Leave me alone!" Mineta shouted, trying to run again to no avail. He struggled uselessly. "You already tried, it doesn't work, stop!"

His words cut off with a strangled gasp, and smoke whirled again.

"Stop it…"

Jasmine and sage filled his nose, the smell strong and smoky.

"Was that not enough, then?" Overhaul wondered again, staring at Mineta.

He fell through purple smoke, reappearing in front of the monster once again…

"How many times have you died? Not that it matters…"

Mineta shattered into pieces, falling to the pavement.

"I'll give you whatever you want, just don't kill me!" Mineta begged as he clutched Overhaul's pant leg, snot dripping from his nose. The germophobic man stared with disgust, and his hand closed on Mineta's skull.

Smoke whirled-

Faint wind chimes sang-

Incense whirled with purple and sparks of light-

Mineta 'reset' once again, and collapsed to the ground immediately, his threshold for sensory input annihilated.

Overhaul paused, this time, looking down at Mineta. "How many times have you died?" he asked again, without a hint of remorse or emotion.

"I…lost count…" Mineta choked out, and he began crying pathetically.

"Tch." Overhaul slipped his glove back on, disgusted. "Her power hasn't waned at all. Even now, I can't overcome her Quirk. I suppose you'll break free eventually, though who knows how much of your life she'll have eaten by then. This is further proof…Quirks were never supposed to exist in this world. They are a sickness, an abomination, and I'll be the surgeon who cuts them away from reality entirely…"

He turned on one heel, walking away sedately as if nothing had happened at all.

It took a long time for Mineta to find the strength to stand. He threw up once, vacating his stomach noisily. The light rain increased into a storm, and he lurched to his feet.

 _U.A…he had to get to U.A!_ They would know what was going on, they could fix it!

Mineta stumbled out of the warehouse district without running into further trouble, and nearly cried with relief when he spotted a familiar face. "HEY! Over here!" Mineta shouted.

Izuku Midoriya turned his head, recognition flashing over his plain features. "Oh, Mineta, hey! It's rare to run into you outside of class." The green haired hero cringed back as he noticed Mineta's grimy appearance and the snot dripping from his nose. "What happened to you? Was there a villain attack?"

"You have to get me to the school!" Mineta wailed, pathetically grateful to see Midoriya though the annoying boy spent too much time around Mineta's future third wife, Uraraka, for his taste. "It's an emergency!"

He was so focused on Midoriya, he neglected to look both ways when crossing the street, and got hit by a car.

~o~


	3. Tiny Grapes

**Author's Note: I have a goal! I'll post a chapter of this story every day! It's short and pretty easy to write, so it shouldn't be a problem. Thanks for reading!**

 **Side note: I'm never, never going to tell anyone 'don't like don't read'. I think that's a really dumb thing for authors to pull in the first place. Like this, hate this, I don't mind, and I'd be glad to hear from you all the same. And I can't blame a single person for not liking this story, since a character bash is a little unethical by nature, so don't worry about hurting my feelings, okay? There are plenty of people who will really enjoy this story, even if some of you don't, and that's why it exists and will never be taken down. Plus, the plot turned out surprisingly well, so at least the quality is good. :)**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, or their character designs, or even any merchandise which happens to feature these characters.**

~o~

Shota Aizawa looked up from the stack of files on his desk, his bloodshot eyes almost pitying. "You've gotten yourself into a fine mess," he noted, staring at the apparently mummified boy in the seat across from him.

Minoru Mineta had had a difficult couple of days. After Midoriya rushed him to Recovery Girl, he'd undergone several sessions to fix the worst of the damage from his car crash. Mineta couldn't even enjoy the healing as much as he usually did, thanks to the severity of his injuries.

Usually, he imagined the elderly healer as her younger self, despite the papery feel of her wrinkly lips. Truly, his perverted imagination was far beyond a normal mortal. " _Touch me with those shriveled lips again, Recovery Girl, I'm begging you…_ "

Aizawa snapped the file closed, and Mineta snapped out of his daydreams. "I put in a request for all known information about this mysterious villain, and it isn't looking good. She's known as Biojinx, the Deathly Curse Villain. We have record of a dozen or so previous victims of her bad luck jinx in action….but her abilities seem like a fairy tale, even in the world we live in. I'm not sure how much of this report I trust."

"A-Are you saying there's no hope?" Mineta lisped frantically, sitting up straighter. "What am I gonna do?"

"Relax, you're going to be fine," Aizawa deadpanned, steepling his long fingers. "According to what we know, she can't control how long the jinx lasts by herself. The length of the jinx depends on the how much the _victim_ deserves it. I don't know why she'd bother using her Quirk on a high schooler in the first place. Unless you're a compete scumbag, chances are the jinx will break after a week or so."

Izuku Midoriya was nodding thoughtfully at Mineta's side. True to his helpful nature, he'd resolved to help Mineta get to the bottom of things after hearing his story. "I've never even heard of Biojinx, so she must keep herself out of the spotlight. The resources of U.A are amazing. But why does she cast jinxes in the first place? What benefit does it give her?"

"Immortality," Aizawa answered flatly. "Or, at least _longevity_. Until the jinx wears off, she steals two days of life for every one day her victim is cursed. Our records of her existence go back over fifty years. However, she can only jinx one person at a time, and she has to wait until it breaks before she can use it again."

"And if the victim dies while linked with her Quirk? Would that backfire on Biojinx, and kill her too?" Midoriya speculated out loud, to Mineta's horror.

"Don't say things like that, are you trying to scare me to death?"

But Aizawa was already shaking his head. "Technically, dying permanently isn't possible. Once a fixed point is established, a 'save point' as some call it, the victim will simply return to that moment if they ever die. Biojinx's past victims report dying thousands of times before the jinx broke. Mineta, you mentioned a fixed point being established right before this man killed you with his Quirk?"

Mineta nodded, tears of terror still in his large eyes. "Yeah! And two nights ago, the same thing happened! I choked to death on a piece of broccoli, and got reset into the hospital bed."

"Why didn't Mineta just get reset when he was hit by the car?" Midoriya asked, his forehead creased with concentration. His green eyes flashed with realization. "He didn't die! It doesn't matter how badly injured you become, a reset only occurs if you actually die!"

"Along with having abnormally bad luck while the jinx is active, victims are blessed with apparent immortality," Aizawa confirmed, shooting an appraising glance at Mineta as he spoke. "You'll retain your memories of each period in between your 'save point' and your death. This could be a valuable tool, in the right hands…"

"Think of all you could learn and accomplish!" Midoriya exclaimed, his face lighting up with ideas and theories. "I bet you couldn't retain the effects of physical training, since your muscles would simply revert back to the state they were at during the save point, but knowledge is another thing entirely. You could use this jinx as a learning opportunity, and memorize all the knowledge in U.A, and have all the time in the world for studying attack patterns and villains, and you could probably push your abilities to the next level with every reset by coming up with new combos and special attacks…"

' _Think of all the porn I could watch!_ ' Mineta realized inwardly, lightning flashing through his mind. This changed _everything_! He could skip classes and do whatever he wanted, and then just return to the save point like nothing had happened!

Midoriya continued muttering to himself, analyzing the pros and cons of Biojinx's curse, and Aizawa stood.

"That's all we've got for right now. A few more reports are trickling in, so we might get some more information in the next few days. Until then, try to keep yourself out of trouble. You two are dismissed."

"Right, yes sir!" Midoriya exclaimed, snapping to attention, his monologue cut off.

Meanwhile, Mineta had other plans forming in his hamster wheel of a mind…

~o~

The next night, Mineta crept through the girls' dormitories, a camera clutched in his sweaty hand and night vision goggles strapped over his lecherous eyes. "This is Mineta's girl watching video blog, part three hundred ninety four," he whispered, creeping along the floor in the darkened halls.

The camera was linked directly to his private laptop, uploading the feed to his blog in a live video. "I have a treat for all of you tonight. We just finished a grueling workout session that lasted until sunset, and all the girls are sure to head into the shower room! Normally I'd never take such a risk on school property, but with this new jinx, I can do whatever I want and not get in trouble! This footage won't survive the reset, but maybe I'll get to watch it a few times before then, hehehe…"

He opened the door to the girl's shower room, and snuck inside, the camera feed shaking as he did so. Mineta climbed into the laundry basket full of towels, covering himself with the plush fabric. The camera lens alone was visible, pointing at the showers. He'd been wanting to try this ever since coming to U.A. "Now, my fellow erotica fans…we wait!"

Mineta had timed his arrival well. Less than five minutes later, the unmistakable sounds of footsteps padded down the hallway. He waited, his breath caught in his throat, his fingers resting on the zoom dial in anticipation…

The lights flicked on, revealing the girls of Class 1-A, fully clothed, and glaring at the laundry bin. Yaoyorozu took charge, snapping her fingers. "Tsu, expose the rat."

"You've got it, _ribbit_!" Asui croaked, her tongue lashing out and circling the laundry bin. She flipped it over, tossing Mineta onto the ground, the camera still clutched in his hands.

He blinked, staring up at the six, furious girls, his shock turning to fear. Yaoyorozu pulled a length of rope from the skin on her arms, her Quirk sparking as the object was formed, and in moments they had the peeping pervert tied around the torso. They pulled the ropes a little tighter than necessary.

"No fair, how'd you know!" Mineta whined, his voice a high pitched wail, struggling against the ropes.

Kyoka Jiro held up her phone. "Your video feed transmission somehow got crossed in the wireless networks, and uploaded to the school's main webpage. We're lucky Uraraka decided to look up the dates of the upcoming school events, or we might not have noticed in time. I guess you just had _bad_ luck."

"Oh my gosh, can you just imagine if we hadn't noticed?" Toru Hagakure squealed, her invisible body shuddering with disgust. "Everyone might have seen me naked!"

"It looks like the teachers haven't noticed yet, _ribbit_ ," Asui croaked, picking up the camera. "What should we do with him?"

Mina Ashido cracked her knuckles, glaring at Mineta with the void of her dark eyes. Acid hissed from her pink fingertips. "I can think of a _few_ options."

"There's no need for violence," Yaoyorozu cautioned, holding out her pale hand. "Let's just report him to the teachers, and hand over his camera as evidence."

The steam of acid vanished, and Mina sighed. "Yeah, I guess. What's on this thing anyways?" She took the camera from Asui as she spoke, looking into the still running camera feed.

Mineta's expression was suddenly so perverted that all the girls took an involuntary step back out of sheer disgust. "Go ahead, look at the other videos. They're very _interesting_. I made them myself, heheheheh…"

"Gah!" Mina gasped, dropping the camera like it was a hot ember. "Ew, ew, ew, I do _not_ want to know!"

"Hey, be careful with that!" Mineta protested as his camera clattered against the tile of the shower room, pointing at the wall. "It cost me a whole year's allowance!"

His heartbeat echoed once in his ears, and he smelled Biojinx's incense faintly stirring in the air. ' _Oh crap!_ ' he realized, his eyes flying wide. ' _A save point? Not now! This isn't good, I have to destroy the evidence_!'

His arms were tied to his chest, but his legs were free…

Mineta dashed for the camera, aiming to crush it with his little body, and…slipped spectacularly on the floor just before his legs pushed off the ground. He managed to flip just over the camera, spinning completely upside down in the air, and the hem of his pants snagged on the lowest towel hook on the wall.

Toru, Kyoka, and Uraraka screamed, slapping their hands over their eyes as Mineta was pantsed, on a live video feed being broadcast on the U.A website, which was viewed by people all over the world. Though Toru's invisibility made it difficult to tell.

"Good heavens!" Yaoyorozu exclaimed, her face distinctly green as she raised a hand to her lips with disgust. "You should really see a doctor, Mineta, that can't be healthy."

And even though the rest of the girls were in various states of disgust, shock, or trauma, Mina Ashido _laughed_ , nearly doubled over with hilarity. "Hey, you guys! _Tiny Grapes_!" she sniggered, helpless with laughter. "Ahahaha, his name can be Tiny Grapes!"

"Oh, I get it, like Grape Juice," Asui said, nodding. "It's certainly…fitting, isn't it, _ribbit_?"

Smoke whirled around Mineta, as a save point was established then and there, as the moment of his humiliation was broadcast to the internet and all the girls in his class.

He could have sworn he heard Biojinx's laughter among the wind chimes.

"This…this is the _WORST_!" Mineta shouted, struggling to get his pants back on with his hands tied as he fell to the ground on his head, wishing he'd just _died_ instead of this.

What had he ever done to deserve such humiliation?

~o~

Meanwhile, Aizawa sat at his desk, grading a few last minute papers before his headed out for the day. It was a peaceful evening at U.A. He breathed in deep, enjoying the feel of the silence as it draped over the familiar halls.

" _HEYYYYY_!" Present Mic boomed at full volume, slamming his door open with a crash. "I'VE GOT A FILE FOR YA, _YOW_!" His voice shrieked up the scale on the last syllable, and Aizawa flinched like he'd been shot.

"Hand it here and lower your voice," he complained, snatching the paper from his long time friend. "Another Biojinx report, huh. Leave it to the kids of Class 1-A to get themselves into ridiculous situations…" the pro hero grouched, his eyes scanning quickly over the form.

He paused. And reread the paragraph, the lines in his forehead deepening. "Well, this isn't good," he muttered to himself.

"Anything _interesting_?" Present Mic asked, leaning over Aizawa's shoulder, but the exhausted looking teacher stood up abruptly, his paper grading abandoned as he headed for the door.

He broke into a run, headed towards the dorms. He could only hope his report didn't come too late, the information in the report echoing through his mind.

 _Along with bad luck, every reset will have a different TRAITOR, a random person who knows the victim who will try to kill them, even if it was something they'd never do normally. The traitor will look and act normal, but will experience a 'memory haze' at the point they try to kill the victim, creating an illusionary situation in their mind which forces them to believe the victim must be killed._

One of the other students might try to kill Mineta, Aizawa realized grimly, rounding the corner. The traitor might even be _himself_ for all he knew. Even if he was too late to prevent one of Mineta's deaths, he still needed to pass this information on as soon as possible.

Hopefully, the boy really had tried to keep himself out of trouble…

~o~

Yaoyorozu took enough pity on Mineta to untie his arms so he could cover himself again. The camera feed had been turned off, and the evidence secured. "I realize this was embarrassing for you, but you really crossed the line trying to spy on us all like that! Your actions were an enormous violation of privacy, and you're sure to face disciplinary action from the school!"

"He's lucky we're so nice," Kyoka griped, folding her arms haughtily. "We should think of our own punishment."

"I can never use these eyes again," Toru sobbed, as Mina patted her back reassuringly, still giggling to herself.

"Hey, Uraraka, are you feeling alright?" Asui checked, looking up at the zero gravity hero, who was staring into space, her arms limp by her sides.

Gold sparked over Uraraka's chocolate eyes, and she blinked, stepping towards Mineta with an odd, empty expression on her face.

 **~o~**


	4. vs Uravity

**Author's Note:** ** **Sooo, apparently the site has a rule I didn't know about. Updates have to be 24 hours apart to show up on the top of the new feed, and send notifications to followers. I'm still gonna shoot for one a day, but since I updated last evening I'll be skipping tomorrow to 'reset' my time so I can post earlier in the day in the future. Thanks for reading!****

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Uraraka, but I do have a book on antigravity. It's impossible to put down!**

 **~o~**

 _A traitor…a traitor…_

One of the other kids might try to kill Mineta, thanks to the illusion side effect of Biojinx's curse!

Aizawa ran up the stairs with the infamous speed of a Pro Hero, but he was too late.

Ochako Uraraka walked forward, sparks of golden light flashing in her eyes. Her round face was oddly empty, as if in a daze. "A bomb? How'd a bomb get in here?" she wondered aloud, staring at everything and nothing at all. "Was it a villain?"

"A bomb? What are you talking about, Uraraka-chan?" Asui asked, her froggy voice thick with concern. "There's not a bomb here, _ribbit_."

"No, it's right there!" Uraraka insisted, extending her arm to point at Mineta. Alarm crashed over her face, and she shoved Asui to the side, shouting, " _look out!_ It's about to blow up!"

The Zero Gravity Hero dove forward, her fingers closing on Mineta's face before he could react. Pink light glittered around her fingertips, and the perverted boy burst into the air. "Hey!" Mineta complained, still flushed with embarrassment from his pantsing. " _I know I'm 'da-bomb', but not literally!_ " he shouted, his little legs flailing.

"I've got this, you guys, so just leave it to me!" Uraraka shouted, power surging around her as she pushed her Quirk to its limit. The protests of the other girls was lost as Mineta shot out the window, glass shattering behind him, and soared into the night sky.

"LET ME GO, CRAZY WOMAN, I'M NOT A BOMB!" Grape Juice shrieked, as wind shrieked around his ears. The ground dropped away, the city quickly shrinking to a patchwork of houses and streets, like a doll's world.

' _She's gonna drop me!'_ Mineta realized, his arms and legs wind milling helplessly though the air. ' _No, no, I'm scared of heights! I don't want to fall to my death! Anything but that!'_

The air grew cold, as Mineta soared higher into the aerial heavens, unconstrained by gravity. The diamond scattering of stars winked in the vast void of the sky. Before long, the shape of Japan could be seen below him, outlined by the electrical shine of cities like fireflies.

Mineta was starting to get cold. He shuddered, his arms and legs held tight, as he soared higher and higher. _'When…when is she gonna drop me_?" he wondered, his teeth chattering with the cold as he passed through the stringy wisps of fog of a vast cloud. Droplets beaded on his skin, sapping away what little warmth he had.

The air began to grow thin. A plane flew far below Mineta, blinking red and blue on the tips of its angled wings, unaware of their flying companion.

' _Is she…ever gonna…drop me_?" Grape Juice wondered, his thoughts moving slower and slower, as his upward trajectory suddenly increased, hurtling him into the upper atmosphere like a rocket.

Frost crackled over Mineta's exposed skin, spreading like cracks in a pane of glass. His remaining breath misted in front of him, freezing in the chill of near space.

But he didn't stop there.

Higher and higher Mineta flew, until he couldn't breathe at all, gaping weakly like a fish out of water. His last minute before suffocation sent him hurtling past the edges of the stratosphere into the bone deep chill of the mesosphere, where he floated through a noctilucent cloud of stinging, frozen mist.

Just before his consciousness faded into nothing, light blossomed in the corners of his vision.

Mineta looked, just in time to see a fiery meteor hurtling towards him, a chunk of rock larger than a car wreathed in scarlet and gold flames. Heat bloomed on his skin as it tore closer, the screaming sound of its destructive path growing to a fever pitch.

The meteor crashed against Minoru Mineta, vaporizing him near instantly with a flash of golden light, continuing on its path through the night sky as a brilliant shooting star, which hundreds of children made wishes on.

~o~

 **Hahaha, you see this? This was entertaining. Are there any Mineta deaths you want to see? Anything is possible, after all. Let me know in the review section! :D**


	5. vs

**Author's Note: Hey, everyone! This is the last chapter that contains actual plot. (The rest I've got planned is Mineta deaths.) As such, this story can be read as complete from here on out, and will be marked as such. The remaining chapters do** _ **not**_ **need to be read in order to make sense! Go ahead and skip around, and if there's a 'vs character' you don't see, feel free to request it in a review.**

 **My review section is now officially a Death Note, which will only kill Mineta. All I need is a name, and they'll punch in Mineta's face. Cause of death should be written in 40 seconds, and details of the death can be written in the 6 minutes and 40 seconds after that. (Remember to keep things T rated!) Humans…are so interesting.**

 **If I ever decide to add more plot chapters, I'll post them all at once with no wait, and list the chapter numbers here! Alright, author's rant over. :)**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: HUGE SPOILER ALERT, READ DISCLAIMER AT YOUR OWN RISK: (I don't own My Hero Academia.)**

 **~o~**

Mineta fell through a whirling storm of smoke, and woke up gasping on the floor of the girl's shower room. His eyes snapped to Uraraka, and he scrambled back against the wall with terror. "Stay away from me you lunatic witch!" he screeched, tears in his eyes.

Uraraka held up her hand in a gesture of surrender as the other girls looked at her oddly. "I-I didn't do anything, I swear!" she protested, honestly confused. "Really, I have no idea what he's talking about!"

Mineta wasn't having it, his pathetic voice thick with lisping panic. "Don't lie, you were about to kill me! You were gonna send me into space and a meteor was gonna crush me! And to think I photo shopped all of those pictures of you naked for my personal collection!"

"I think _I'm_ going to kill him!" Kyoka said darkly, glaring at Mineta as if looking at a slimy piece of trash. Uraraka defended herself hotly.

"I wouldn't do anything like that, honest! I've never used my Quirk to _kill_ anyone, I want to be a hero!"

The radio intercom crackled to life. " _Class 1-A, report to the common area. Immediately_." Eraserhead's voice cut out, and everyone exchanged glances.

"Guess Mineta is gonna get it this time," Mina predicted, guessing their teacher had seen the footage on the website. "Well, I would say it was nice having him around, but I'll be honest, it _wasn't_. Good riddance, Tiny Grapes."

"Best of luck, Tiny Grapes," Asui added on, patting Mineta's shoulder comfortingly.

"Good luck finding another school, Tiny Grapes!"

" _Stop calling me that, you're all just jealous_!" Mineta wailed, wondering if this day could get any worse.

~o~

It could.

" _What do you mean I'm gonna get killed by my classmates_?" Mineta shouted, after Eraserhead had finished his explanation. "You mean anyone could snap and murder me at any time?" Bakugo yawned deliberately, stretching his arms, and Mineta shrieked like a little girl, jumping on reflex. Bakugo smirked.

"I'm afraid it isn't just your classmates," Aizawa continued wearily. "Anyone you've ever met. It could be anyone you meet in the future. Biojinx is strong, but her Quirk needs proximity to affect people outside the victim. The 'traitor' won't become active unless they're within about a hundred feet of you, and the bad luck will actively lead you towards the traitor's location. Apparently, Biojinx gets an extra day of life for every death you experience in addition to the passive day by day life drain."

"So I really did send you into space?" Uraraka wondered out loud, having the grace to look a bit embarrassed. "Sorry, Mineta, I don't remember! Well, all's well that ends well, right?"

" _Speak for yourself, it was raining Mineta after that meteor hit!_ " the stunted boy accused, looking more terrified of Uraraka than anyone ever had before. She was scarier than she looked!

"Does this mean Mineta is going to age more quickly? If Biojinx is stealing his 'life'…" Midoriya asked, but Aizawa shook his head.

"She steals life from the sum total of a person's natural lifespan. If Mineta would have died at the age of 70, and Biojinx stole a decade, he would pass away of old age at 60 instead."

True to his responsible nature, Tenya Iida took control, his posture ramrod straight. "Well, it's certainly an unusual situation, but don't be discouraged! I'm sure Mineta will break free in no time, and then we'll be free to focus on our studies all the more diligently! Let's look at this as a learning opportunity, a cautionary tale of the evils of an excess of immoral thoughts and behavior, with Mineta as the prime example of what not to be!"

" _Hey_ , what's wrong with immoral thoughts, everyone has them!" Mineta cried out, pointing a shaking finger at Iida. "Don't try to tell me you've never imagined what every female would look like at her prime, whether she's eighty or three years old, it's perfectly normal to get excited over thoughts like that!"

"If Mineta dies right now, will we lose our memories of him saying _that_?" Todoroki asked in a pained tone, kneading the bridge of his nose.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Uraraka confessed, though she wasn't using her Quirk on anything, her face distinctly greenish.

"Dude, there's a difference between thinking girls are hot and treating every aspect of life as your own personal sex fantasy," Denki Kaminari said, looking a bit disgusted. "I'm no saint, but you're like, next level in perverseness. Like, yeah, boobs are great, but I'm not gonna fetishize every girl I see regardless of age or appearance, ya know? And I actually like talking to some girls, even without some dirty motive." Kyoka flushed ever so slightly, looking to the side with a small smile.

"Who says his perverted thoughts are the problem, I think _everything_ about him is trash," Bakugo snorted, uninterested and obviously bored, his hands behind his head as he leaned back on the couch. "He's a whining coward with no real power, and he's ugly and pathetic to boot. He can't hold an interesting conversation, he's constantly crying, and his voice pisses me off. He's a lot like Deku in middle school, now that I think about it…"

" _Kacchan,_ that's too mean!"

"I'm just saying it's accurate, you damn nerd, so stop complaining! At least you can throw a damn punch now, unlike Tiny Grapes over there!" Bakugo had only heard the nickname once, from Mina, and it had already replaced Mineta's actual name in his mind forever.

" _Stop using that nickname, you guys are the worst_!"

Mina raised her pink hand, interrupting Bakugo. "Hey, sensei, does that mean you didn't call us here about the shower incident?"

As the girls pitched in and described the incident, including replaying the footage on the confiscated camera, their teacher was silent and grim.

When the last girl fell silent, the class turned to Eraserhead, waiting for his reaction.

Eraserhead turned towards Mineta as his scarf unwound and floated menacingly, his eyes flashing red, radiating a cold killing intent which had every teen in the room frozen with fear.

His voice was surprisingly steady and calm, which was somehow worse than if he'd yelled.

"Class dismissed. Mineta. You'll be coming with me."

~o~

"You know, I'm starting to feel a little bad for Mineta," Kirishima said, watching the tiny boy scrub the empty swimming pool by himself armed with a single sponge. He winced pityingly as Grape Juice slipped on some soap, and crashed to the ground painfully. Kirishima shook his head. "I mean I know he had it coming, but I can't help but pity the guy for all the chores he's had to do these past few weeks."

"Damn extra is lucky he didn't get expelled," Bakugo snorted, not sparing Mineta a single glance. "He doesn't belong in a hero school in the first place."

"Yeah, but…he had to clean out the _sewer_ system, man! I heard it was infested with crocodiles who somehow developed Quirks."

Kaminari spoke up from the side, with the air of someone telling a scary story to a bunch of kids. "That's not the worst of it, I heard a rumor that the school made him give Hound Dog sensei a bath! How many times do ya think he died finishing _that_ chore?"

"Bakugo is right," Todoroki said coolly, zipping up his gym bag and slinging it over one shoulder. "If Principal Nezu hadn't decided Mineta's actions were a result of the strain of being under Biojinx's curse, he would have been expelled immediately. He's fortunate he got away with three weeks' worth of chores."

"Speaking of…" Kirishima said slowly, as if deep in thought. "Didn't Aizawa-sensei say the jinx should break in one week? It's been almost a month, hasn't it?"

The boys stared at Mineta in silence.

"Tiny Grapes _did_ mention he was still dying every so often," Kaminari said, shuddering with empathy. "The curse is still going strong. Man, what a scary ability, I hope Biojinx never runs into _me_!"

"He's our classmate, call him by his real name," Todoroki insisted, and Bakugo snorted a laugh derisively.

"Shut it, Flaming Snowball."

Kirishima let out a deep sigh. "Well, that settles it then, doesn't it? We've gotta help him out. That's a man's true purpose, ain't it? Let's see what we can do."

With the beginnings of a plan, they decided to enlist the help of the girls…

~o~

"Where are you guys taking me?" Mineta complained churlishly, as Midoriya led him down the hallway. "I was about to turn on some adult videos."

Izuku pretended he hadn't heard that. "Just come with me, will you? The whole class is waiting. We've got a surprise."

"Unless it's Yaoyorozu in a swimsuit, I'm not interested," Mineta muttered darkly, though he kept walking.

Izuku pretended he hadn't heard that either. He was grateful when they finally made it to the common room. "I brought Mineta, everyone!" he called out, taking his place next to Uraraka. Mineta walked forward, his eyes wide with confusion.

"What is this?" the ball headed boy lisped, looking around at the circle of his classmates. He flinched when he saw Aizawa, who glared silently. If it had been up to him, Mineta would have been expelled immediately, and the class pervert had yet to earn their sensei's forgiveness.

Iida spoke up, spreading his muscled arms wide. "This is Class 1-A's Minoru Mineta reformation program!" he introduced grandly. The class stood in groups around the room. Mineta was _pretty_ sure Toru was here somewhere, but he could never be too sure. "Our goal! To reform and redeem you, into a model citizen-"

"Or failing that, a human who isn't one hundred percent terrible," Mina broke in under her breath.

Iida continued, louder this time. "In order to break Biojinx's curse, once and for all! We've prepared several programs for you to partake, in order to cleanse your dirty mind, and strengthen your inner soul! Kirishima, would you care to begin?"

Eijiro Kirishima smiled, easygoing and tough all at once, slamming his hardened fists together like crashing boulders. "My group is gonna teach you the art of manliness! That means never leaving your friends behind, and being strong enough to take on the burdens of others! The road to being a true man is harsh, but it's the only way to live!"

"My group will be teaching you how to treat a lady," Uraraka broke in, her enthusiasm contagious. "We'll teach you to treat a girl with respect, and how to be nice to everyone! That means no creepy staring, or fantasizing about girls in a demeaning way, as well as being selfless and kind!"

"I'll teach you the same determination and drive All Might taught me when we first met!" Izuku said, honest and sincere. "It won't be easy, but this training will strengthen both mind and body! It took me ten months to pass his challenge…"

"I'll be teaching you how to fight like a proper fucking hero," Bakugo swore, explosions sparking in his palms, his expression downright demonic. "Prepare to get blown up a ton until you learn properly, Tiny Grapes!"

"And _I_ will teach you the manners of a gentleman," Momo said regally, crossing her long legs. "I've been learning proper etiquette since I was very small, but I'm sure I can pass on the basics, at least."

Tokoyama spoke up, Dark Shadow curled around him like a shroud. "I'll be in the enforcement squad," he added in darkly, staring at Mineta. "Our job is to remove any unsavory material from your room, and computer, and make sure it stays gone."

"Meanwhile _my_ job is to impart a sense of style and class into that tiny little head of yours," the ever sparkling Aoyama added in, flashing his brilliant white teeth in a smile.

Iida smiled, nodding appreciatively. "As you can see, we've all banded together to help you break Biojinx's curse! The others have some special lessons to teach as well, but for the most part, we decided to stick to the group format for your new training."

"They've put a lot of work into this, but as long as it doesn't interfere with their studies, I don't see a problem with it," Eraser Head cut in, eyeing Mineta balefully. "That being said, this isn't sponsored by the school, and won't be enforced by the teachers and staff, so consider all this to be voluntary extra work. So. What do you say?"

Mineta looked with wide eyes at the faces of his classmates, each one filled with expectation and drive…except Toru. He couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. Everyone was coming together to help him, but…

"I need to think about it," Mineta muttered, looking to the side.

Iida looked shocked, his arms falling. "What do you mean, you need to think about it? Can you not see how much work we've all put into aiding and benefiting you during this difficult trial? We're taking time out of our personal studies to save your life!"

Uraraka and Asui exchanged glances. Mina didn't look surprised, nodding her head as if she had known this would happen.

"I just mean I need to think about it, that's all!"

Iida looked downright appalled, incapable of understanding. "But…! What could possibly be the downside? As class rep, I demand you tell me this instant!"

"He doesn't want to work that hard," Mina Ashido said, as if it should be obvious. "I told you guys, didn't I? Mineta is never gonna change, not because he can't, because he doesn't want to!"

The weight of the class's stares broke Mineta's silence. "Well of course I don't want to!" he protested, as if it should be obvious. "All of that sounds like a ton of work, and besides, the jinx will break eventually anyways, right?"

"But!" Iida said, gaping with shock. "If you don't improve yourself, who knows how long that could take? You have your life to think about here!"

"But I wouldn't be able to live how I want to," Mineta retorted, obviously upset, his lisp worse than normal. "I'd have to train, and go through hard challenges, and treat girls like I didn't want to bang them! I watch at least six hours of porn a day, I couldn't live without it! Training would cut into my personal hobbies, and the only reason you guys fight better than me is your Quirks, nothing else! If I had an awesome Quirk, I'd be way better than all of you without having to try at all!"

"But if you don't train, and work hard, of course you won't be able to compare to those who do!" Midoriya responded, taken aback and at a clear loss for further words.

"I told you this was a waste of time!" Bakugo snarled, Mina nodding in agreement at his side, but Iida was still trying to maintain order, calling for everyone to be quiet.

"I still think Mineta should…"

"If he isn't gonna try, what more can we do?"

"All he has to do is be a better man, and he's home free! I don't see the issue here…"

" _Enough_!" Mineta wailed, his eyes bright with fierce determination. "I've made up my mind! I may be a pervert, but that's what I'm good at! If giving up boobs is the only way to break Biojinx's curse, I choose death instead! _Life without being the king of erotica isn't worth living!_ "

His pronouncement made, smoke hissed from his skin, a save point established then and there while his classmates stared at him.

"I mean…if that's your choice, I guess we'll back off, man," Kirishima said lamely, scratching the back of his head. "You do you, I guess."

"Why am I not surprised, _ribbit_?"

"I guess the curse will break eventually anyways, right?" Uraraka said worriedly, shooting Mineta a glance.

"Mineta," Midoriya said through gritted teeth, his face in shadow and his clenched fists shaking. "Is this really your decision? You aren't going to try and improve yourself at all?"

"Shut up!" Mineta howled, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. "Don't act like you're better than me! I'm fine the way I am, I don't want to change, or take advice from a loser like you!"

Bakugo's hand snapped out, and an explosion slammed Mineta into the wall in a thunder of sound, before even Aizawa could react.

" _No Quirk use in the building_!" Iida gasped out, smacking Bakugo's hand down. "Are you insane? Besides, you call Midoriya far worse on a daily basis!" He stopped, his arm dropping as fear flashed through his eyes. "Bakugo, you aren't the 'traitor', are you?"

"I am not!" Bakugo snarled, closing his fist while smoke seeped from his fingers. "And Deku _is_ a loser! It just pissed me off when that little piece of scum said it, that's all! You…you're even worse than Deku, you damn Tiny Grapes! Go die, then! Find a rooftop and take a flying leap!"

" _Bakugo_!"

"Hey, tone it down a little, man, he's been through some shit!"

"And you know what else?" Bakugo continued, as Mineta picked himself off the floor painfully. "I hope Biojinx makes you regret every miserable second of your pathetic life. You have a way out, and you're just too damn lazy to man up and put some real effort into saving your own skin! You being in the same class as me is an embarrassment, and if a fucking _curse_ isn't enough to make you take some responsibility for your own pitiful, creepy life, than you deserve every death she inflicts on you!"

Bakugo whirled, stalking out of the room furiously, every line of his body radiating rage. He slammed his fist into the wall, the bang echoing over the room like a crack of thunder.

"He isn't completely wrong, you know," Uraraka said quietly, her voice hushed under the weight of the sudden, heavy silence.

"No kidding…" Kyoka agreed, her voice barely audible.

"Well I don't regret my choice!" Mineta said, standing tall. "There's nothing wrong with me, Biojinx is the one who's wrong! I'll break my curse anyways, by finding Biojinx and dragging her to Aizawa-sensei!"

"I guess that might work," Izuku said, still looking after Bakugo. "It might interrupt the curse, and free you forever, if he could just nullify her abilities for a second…but until then, you really will die!"

Mineta smirked, folding his arms.

"That's a price I'm willing to pay if it means I can watch porn and daydream about kidnapping girls and-"

Before he could finish his sentence, blood sprayed from his neck like a fountain, as an invisible and naked Toru slit his throat from behind with a thin razor, laughing out loud to herself as she did so. Mineta gurgled, falling to his knees with shock, his blood splashing on Toru's leg, outlining it in dripping crimson.

"I hit the target, sensei!" Toru squealed happily, her form outlined vaguely in blood, while her classmates stared at her in sickened horror. "See, I got a bullseye, didn't I? I told you I could sneak anywhere! I am the Stealth Hero after all!"

His vision blurred as he hit the ground, aware of screaming around him. He felt cold, and his limbs wouldn't move anymore, though his mind was aware as he bled out onto the floor.

' _It will all…be worth it…'_ Mineta thought to himself, as the beating of his own heart killed him slowly. ' _And when I find Biojinx…I'm…gonna…'_

Wind chimes sang, and Mineta fell through a whirl of purple incense and shining points of silver, the scent of smoky jasmine and sage congealing in the air, and then he began again.

~o~


	6. vs Chargebolt

**Reviewers who requested Kaminari: **isaacfarnsworth** 1, and **_**CyberBolt**_ **!**

 _ ***Guest reviews italicized**_

 **Thanks everyone! ^o^**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Denki Kaminari. I know, I know, totally 'shocking'. 'Watt', were you 'amped' up thinking I'd own things this time? :D**

 **~o~**

Thunder boomed and groaned, rolling in a fitful wall of sound over the mountains. The roiling black clouds sparked with shards of lightning, and frigid rain fell in pounding sheets on the rugged cliffs and dripped off the thin needles of the black pines to the rich, loamy earth below.

" _Heroes don't always get to choose their battlefields!_ " All Might's voice reminded the six, unfortunate students shivering out the in rain around the mountain, his cheerful tone amplified by the loudspeakers. " _You must be prepared to fight on all terrain, and in all weather conditions! Today's exercise is equal parts survival and speed! All three teams of two will begin at opposite ends of the mountain, and make their way to the top! Once there, grab the water proof duffel bag containing a handheld radio, and announce your teams victory to end the match! You have two minutes to prepare!"_

Mineta shivered, the rain sliding off his smooth head to drip down the collar of his hero costume. Less than a minute into the rain, and the heat had already leeched from his skin. "This _sucks_ ," the grape headed boy muttered, his shoes already squelching with water. He glared at his partner, who didn't respond, choosing instead to twiddle his fingers nervously.

Koji Koda rarely spoke. Despite his brutish appearance, and the craggy, stone shape of his head, he was notoriously shy and gentle. Apparently, he was great at keeping secrets. Mineta had never had a conversation with the animal whisperer, but he hated him anyways. Koda was over six feet tall, nearly double Mineta's height, and he found it entirely unfair. If _he_ was that tall, girls would be all over him, he was sure of it.

Mineta sneezed wetly. "Great, just great, now I'm getting sick!" Still no response from Koda. "If we're gonna work together, you have to say at least one thing to me!" Mineta demanded, having forgotten what his 'partners' voice even sounded like. He'd much rather be assigned to work with a girl. In a flimsy white shirt. With a red checkered bra…

Koda's childish, tenor voice broke him from his fantasies, though he barely had any volume at all. "I'm just happy to be in Mother Nature," he admitted, looking almost frightened to speak out loud at all, looking down at his gently clasped hands.

"I'd like to be in Mother Nature too, but not in the way you're thinking," Mineta griped, looking up and up at the distant peak of the mountain. Lightning flashed, illuminating the flat peak, as if it had been sliced by a gigantic sword in an epic battle. The glare faded, and thunder roared over their heads and collided with the cliffs to echo back in a surly growl.

The rest of the students were waiting their turn in the concrete building at the base of the mountain. Two rounds would have four teams instead of three, thanks to the even number of students in their class. All Might would monitor the first round, and then pass off to other teachers for the remaining two, citing 'important business' which would require his attention.

All Might's voice boomed from the loudspeakers once more.

" _Due to the violence of the storm, and the remote location, our monitoring capabilities will be limited. Each of you has been assigned one flare gun. Use it only in the case of emergencies, as it will disqualify your team. You have one hour to complete the assignment! Are you ready, heroes in training? Go!"_

The buzzer blared, and Mineta and Koda broke into a run, heading for the thin deer trail snaking its way up the mountain. Koda slapped his large hands over his oddly fringed ears, as frightened as a child by the booming thunder.

It only took a single minute on the treacherous mountainside for Mineta to start gasping for air. His legs burned with exertion. The storm made their footing slick, and even moving as quickly as they dared, their pace wasn't anything to write home about.

"It would help if we knew _who_ the other teams were," Mineta complained through his labored breaths, pulling himself over a large, rain slicked boulder. Koda lifted him with one hand, setting him on top of the boulder, before clambering over it himself. "With my luck we're probably against Todoroki! He'll just use his stupid powers to get to the top in no time!"

Koda didn't answer, but he started moving a little faster.

The mountain was a steep slope, eventually rising into a sheer cliff face surrounding the flat peak. Once they broke through the trees, the team stared in terrified awe at the rainy cliffs, soaring into the lightning soaked skies. Many pathways curved around the cliffs, spiraling to the top, crossing at several points.

The stony paths were wide enough for two people. They had been carved from the stone itself, and they shone with a slick of rain in the brief flashes of the lightning above, with little streams of water cascading down in tiny waterfalls.

Chances were good they would run into the enemy teams on those thin, stone paths.

Mineta gulped.

And he had an idea.

He really _didn't_ want to do it, but the tiny boy clenched his fist, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

' _If I win, maybe the girls will see, and be so impressed they'll give me a kiss_!"

"We need to go straight up the cliffs!" Mineta said, pointing at the stone. "Without using the paths! I can use my sticky balls as handholds and footholds. You'll need to climb up yourself!"

Koda shook his head ferociously, his hands signing a protest, but Mineta wasn't having it.

" _No one cares about sign language!"_ he snapped, losing his patience with his shy partner. "You can talk to animals, can't you? Just ask some birds to fly you to the top or something!"

Koda shook his head even harder, beginning to sign….and let his hands drop. " _No animals,"_ he whispered, clearly uncomfortable. "Thunder. Don't leave me!"

"I'm not giving up my chance of looking good in front of the girls because you need someone to hold your hand!" Mineta snapped, as Koda cowered before another roar from the stormy heavens. "Forget it. You're on your own! You'd only slow me down!"

He plucked a ball from his head, slamming it onto the cliff face, and began to climb, leaving a trail of sticky grapes behind him. His feet bounced slightly on the springy surface of the balls, as he reached as high as his little arms could manage with each new handhold.

A cold wind whirled around his body, tearing at his cape, but Mineta managed to keep his hold on the balls. "Stupid Koda," he muttered to himself, blinking furiously as rain pattered on his forehead. "We'll still win if only one of us makes it! He'll probably be fine by himself…"

He didn't look down. He wondered if he would have had the courage to try this if he hadn't known Biojinx would give him another life if he fell.

He climbed for what felt like an eternity, shivering on the exposed rocks as the storm howled around him, until blood seeped from the balls on his head, mixing pink with the rain, and his cold hands could barely hold on.

An explosion echoed up the mountain, along with a flare of light. " _Crap_ ," Mineta breathed. "Bakugo is here? Must be fighting one of the others below. He's too late, though…I'm almost there!"

And true to his prediction, it was only a few minutes more before Mineta pulled himself over the top of the cliff, his arms shaking with fatigue. "I…made it!" he gasped, smirking to himself. _Further proof that I'm the coolest guy in class_!

He stood, shivering in the rain, and stumbled towards the center of the plateau. The duffel bag. Where was the duffel bag?

Mineta stopped as a strange sound picked up volume. It sounded like…a person? But where was it coming from?

" _Gah_!" Mineta shouted, recoiling as a figure shot above the edge of the cliff on the other side of the plateau as if he'd been fired from a cannon. "You…have _got_ to be _kidding me_!"

" _Hell yeah_!" Denki Kaminari whooped, as he soared into the sky courtesy of Momo's new 'Yaoyo-slingshot', his spiked blond hair a splash of color against the dark sky.

Lightning struck, zapping the Stun Gun Hero in a blue white burst of plasma, cutting off his shout. But when it faded, Kaminari was unharmed, electricity sparking and jumping over his skin, and he laughed all the harder with sheer exhilaration.

He pulled a cord attached to a backpack, and a silvery paraglider snapped open, with just enough directional control that he was able to land on the peak despite the wind. He slipped off the backpack, and the electric proof glider soared away, leaving its rider facing Mineta on the stormy mountain.

"Well, man," Kaminari said, posing carelessly with his hand in his pocket as a surge of forked lightning hissed through the sky behind him, "looks like it's just you and me."

Mineta swallowed noisily, telling himself he wasn't intimidated by that display at _all_. "E-Eat my sticky balls!" Grape Juice shouted, plucking the bulbous spheres from his head in a rush.

Kaminari dodged to the side, but a freak gust of wind caught the balls, flinging them into the forest below. He stared after them. "Now that's just bad luck, man," Chargebolt said appraisingly…and straightened suddenly, his eyes flashing with gold.

He stared at Mineta oddly, as if he'd just seen a ghost.

"I won't let you get away with this," Denki Kaminari said blankly, his eyes glazed over. "I'll stop you right here!"

"The traitor!" Mineta realized out loud with sudden terror, his hands scrambling for his flare gun…

Electricity surged and crackled over Kaminari's skin and clothes in a shroud, like armor made of living lightning. He literally glowed like the god of thunder, his power sparking and dispersing in the reflecting puddles at his feet, until wisps of super-heated steam curled around his ankles, his voltaic form highlighted against the stormy skies.

The trigger on the flare gun clicked uselessly. "A _dud_?" Mineta shouted with sickened realization. He gritted his teeth, and threw the gun at Kaminari. The Stun Gun Hero slapped it away with his bare hands, his lightning shroud melting the side of the barrel to red-hot slag, exposing the inner mechanisms of the faulty device.

Mineta screamed, throwing sticky balls with all his might, hoping sheer quantity would make up for a lack of a proper plan, his scalp bleeding like crazy.

"You take Mineta's form, and you're even mimicking his power?" Kaminari scoffed, electricity surging out just a few inches from his skin, catching the balls and ricocheting them away. "You really shouldn't have fought me in a location like this, you monster villain! Try _this_ on for size!" He slapped his gloved hands on the sheen of water on the plateau, and electricity surged in a snapping wave of laser hot power across the surface, inescapable and impossible to divert.

' _Think, Mineta, think!'_ With a girly scream, Mineta threw a handful of sticky balls _down_ , creating a temporary cushion, and leapt off the purple balls into the air as the deadly wave of electricity passed beneath him and faded. Thunder snarled and cracked directly above them, the sound so loud it was a physical force.

" _Not half bad!_ " Kaminari called out as the roar of thunder faded, through the hazy steam left over from the suddenly evaporated puddles. Mineta whirled, looking for his opponent, unable to locate him through the sudden fog.

"In fact…I think I'll have to use my new gear to hit you!"

Movement caught Mineta's eyes, and he whirled just in time to see Kaminari through the thinning mist. He was pointing his entire arm at Mineta, with a strange metal support item strapped to it, one eye closed behind his blue tinted glasses to improve his aim.

The gear fired a glinting projectile like a bullet, and when Mineta tried to dodge, it struck him directly between the legs, clinging to place painfully.

He nearly fell over at the blinding pain. " _That's a cheap shot_!" Mineta wailed through his wheezing breaths, glad the support item hadn't been a gun or something more deadly. Was it defective? And why was the plate it had fired made…of… _metal_.

A nova of light shone from Kaminari's outstretched hand, gathering his electricity to a screaming point. "Ultimate move…" he began, gritting his teeth as his power levels surged higher and higher, his hair and clothes floating oddly in the static electricity field…

"No," Mineta gasped, scrambled back, as the glare of the lightning shot threw his shadow dark behind him. "Anything but _that_!"

"Indiscriminate Discharge – _Concentrated Sharpshooting Blast!_ " Kaminari shouted, his voice raw with the effort of producing so much electricity, lightning crackling around his skin.

With a final cry he released the full storm of his Electrification in a single, concentrated blast, the bolt of white blue lightning as wide as a tree and hotter than the surface of the sun. " _1,300,000 VOLTS!_ "

Mineta's screams were drowned out in the high pitched shriek of electricity, as the bolt of ultimate power struck Kaminari's support item dead on. Pain like he'd never known existed before arched from the support item to every line of his body, until he glowed with white blue lightning.

But the bolt didn't stop right away.

" _Haaaaaa!"_ Kaminari shouted, clasping his hand over his extended wrist as he pushed his power to its absolute limits, and then _lightning surged from the sky,_ hitting Kaminari from six different points, attracted to his power.

The sudden power up made Kaminari's lightning stronger than it had _ever_ been before.

Attracted to the red hot support item, the beam of lightning became a world shattering tide of pure _power_ , lighting up the entire sky for miles in every direction, so devastating it melted the half of the mountaintop Mineta had been standing on entirely.

When Denki Kaminari's ultimate attack of over six _billion_ volts faded, there was nothing left of Minoru Mineta whatsoever, his existence purged from the world without mercy. The clouds behind the attack dispersed, revealing a sunny blue sky in a perfect V from Kaminari's position.

Looking over the results of his awe inspiring execution and exceptional display of voltaic power, there was only one thing the hero in training could think to say.

" _Hurr de DURRR_ ," Kaminari giggled, flashing twin thumbs up to the sky, slack jawed and drooling like a particularly stupid zombie chicken. "Blerglyflurg. Eheheheheh. _Plurgh._ "

~o~

 **(I'm going to make these** _ **short**_ **, I said, I won't get carried away and have too much fun with them! DX Still, this was amusing to put together.)**

 **Fun lightning facts: Lightning is actually hotter than the surface of the sun! Lightning is roughly 30,000 Kelvins, and the surface of the sun is only an estimated 6,000 Kelvins. Each bolt of lightning can also be over one billion volts of power. I think…that Kaminari may have unlocked his ultimate idiot mode in this fight as well. XD Thanks for reading!**


	7. vs Shigaraki

**Reviewers who requested Shigaraki:** _ **Vectors Cheese**_ **, Michaelmanster, and Andes Aurora**

 _ ***Guest reviews italicized**_

 **Thanks everyone! ^o^**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Shigaraki, though he'd be** _ **handy**_ **to have around, ahahahaha sorry not sorry. XD**

 **~o~**

Bells, whistles, and the popping of cartoon guns overlapped with the tinny voices of arcade games and music in the dimly lit room, which smelled strongly of stale popcorn and burned pizza. It was a slow day, but there were a few people wandering through the halls of retro games and ski ball stations.

A boy's lisping voice carried over the sounds of the games. "I guess I'm just naturally amazing at video games, being a hero and all," Minoru Mineta bragged, tapping out combos on the controller of a popular fighting game. "This is _nothing_ compared to actual combat."

Of course, he'd only learned to play this game because the girls wore skimpy armor, but he decided to keep that to himself.

"Wow, you're pretty good," a pretty brunette admitted, her pupils slit vertically like a cat. She turned to her winged companion. "Don't you think so, Michio?"

"Yeah, he's got Lyra's combos down," the feathery red-head admitted, watching the game closely. Her red eyes had feathered eyelashes which brushed against her cheeks.

' _These girls are totally hot_!' Mineta thought excitedly, his pulse pounding lecherously. ' _And they like video games! What a time to be alive!_ ' "It's all in the technique," he bragged, trying not to let his excitement show. "After all, at _U.A_ Academy, we learn all sorts of combos and strategic maneuvers. Applying that to video games is as easy as breathing!"

"U.A?!" Michio repeated, seriously impressed. "The top hero school? Hey, have you met All Might?"

A figure in a dark hoodie raised his head from the fighter game he'd been playing in the corner. His character died, but he didn't seem to care. He turned his head to stare at Mineta.

"Know him?" Mineta scoffed. "I'm just his _favorite student_. Me and Might-o…that's what he told me to call him, since we're so close…are like family! He even told me once that he thinks I'll surpass him in no time!"

"Wow!" the brunette gushed, clasping her hands together. "All Might is so amazing! You must be strong for him to say that! We're heroes in training too, actually, but we're nowhere near _his_ level!" Michio eyed Mineta, reappraising the awkwardly put together boy, her interest obviously higher than before.

"If you girls want, why don't you play with me?" Mineta offered, trying to sound offhand and cool. "Test your skills against a _real_ pro." And then later…they might want to _play_ with him for real…

" _Mind if I cut in_?" a new voice rasped, and the three jumped. None of them had heard him arrive. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his black hoodie. What they _could_ see of his face appeared wrinkled and decayed below his mess of powder blue hair…

"The _girls_ wanted a round with me," Mineta insisted, glaring evilly at the newcomer who was trying to steal his future wives. "Go play by yourself!"

"Oh, no, we don't mind!" the brunette said, beaming. "Besides, we want to see a pro hero face off against another player instead of the story mode! Go right ahead!"

"I guess," Mineta muttered with poor grace. "Why don't you stand back and watch, ladies, while I show you how a top tier legend battles!"

The game flickered up, and the two contender's chose their characters. Mineta chose Lyra in her leather strap armor set. He smirked when the mysterious stranger chose the heavy set Dagon, a notoriously difficult and slow fighter. _'With Lyra's spinning machia kick, there's no way I can lose against some newbie_ '.

"You're pretty good," the hooded teen admitted, his eyes never leaving the video game as they played. "You chose a fast, lightweight fighter. Lyra's combos aren't easily punishable…when they're performed correctly, that is. You're just button mashing the machia kick, and it looks like you don't know how to cancel the last strike and follow up with an ultimate move…"

"What are you on about?" Mineta scoffed, already liking his opponent less and less. "You're almost dead! All talk and no skill, it looks like!"

The hooded teen smiled, maneuvering the heavy Dagon into the perfect position to punish the machia kick which barely missed with a terrible crushing blow with his spinning mace.

"Lucky hit," Mineta grumbled, and gaped when the slow Dagon somehow managed to lead the blow into a combo, only a single frame before Lyra's recovery. The combo dragged on, and on, and just when it should have concluded, giving the win to Mineta, Dagon's support stunned Lyra, allowing a _second_ combo.

Buttons clicked and twisted under the masterful control of the hooded boy. The combo led into a passive hit from Dagon's special poison effect, and the heavy character crushed Lyra's immediate guard with the risky and punishable guard shatter attack, reading his opponent perfectly.

An ultimate super move ended the match, with the villainous Dagon demolishing the scantily clad Lyra with his poisoned mace.

Mineta gaped at the screen.

He'd been at almost _full health_ before the combo started. "That wasn't fair!" Mineta protested, his voice a high whine as the girls oohed appreciatively. "The game was lagging, I know I avoided that combo! Don't pretend like that was on purpose!"

The teen inclined his head slightly towards Mineta, and all at once _he knew why the stranger seemed so familiar to him_. That pale blue hair…the wrinkled skin…without the hand covering his face, Mineta hadn't recognized him at first, but! "You're…" Mineta gaped, his words choked back with fear. ' _Shigaraki. From the USJ incident! No, no why is he here?_ '

Tomura Shigaraki saw the hero in training's fear, and his corpse-like lips stretched into a predatory smile. His voice was low and chilling, as he rested his hand on Mineta's shoulder with four fingers. " _Why don't we take a walk, hero? You and me_." Mineta glanced at the girls behind them, and Shigaraki chuckled, his voice too low to carry. "Oh no, we wouldn't want to alert anyone. Things might get _dangerous_ if others get involved…do you understand?"

Mineta _understood_ that if someone didn't save _him_ , he was going to die. The girls were heroes in training, just like him after all, they could handle themselves! " _HELP!_ " he shouted, ripping himself away from Shigaraki as he stumbled to the floor. "He's a villain and he's going to kill me!"

The two girls stared, momentarily frozen with surprise, and Shigaraki's hand closed around the brunette's face in a flash. Her body spasmed and jerked violently, as her head disintegrated into black dust. Her corpse fell to the ground, decaying sickeningly, all in the space of a few seconds. " _ANA_!" the feathered girl shrieked, drawing twin swords from her belt, but Shigaraki moved like a snake, his hand slamming into her stomach.

The decay spread, and her torso slowly withered and flaked away, the stench of rotten flesh and a metallic tang of power filling the air as she screamed in terrible agony. She collapsed to the ground as the decay dissolved the walls of her heart, her sightless crimson eyes staring at nothing, until they too dissolved into dust.

Shigaraki sighed heavily, removing a disembodied hand from his backpack. He carefully placed it over his face, his voice thick with annoyance as panic spread through the mostly empty arcade. "Now why'd you have to go and scream?" he complained petulantly, glaring at Mineta. "You'd better hope no one else comes running, or they'll meet the same fate. You heroes aren't very smart, are you? I expected better of U.A."

Shigaraki snapped his finger, and one of his underlings blocked the door, changing the sign to 'closed'. A small device rang with a high pitched shriek, and the cell phones in the room popped and hissed, going dead. No one would know they were in trouble.

Was Shigaraki the next 'traitor' in Biojinx's curse? " _No,"_ Mineta gasped, cringing away on the ground. Urine stained his pants and pooled on the synthetic floor. "Don't kill me!" he begged, tears spilling down his cheeks. _He just killed them! Just like that_!

"This is all All Might's _fault_ ," Shigaraki muttered, scratching irritably at the raw skin of his papery neck, not seeming to care about the civilians cowering behind machines and under tables. "All his fault, _all his fault_! All you insipid little weaklings, following in his footsteps like brainless little puppies. So happy and peaceful. It's _his_ fault you can sit here, bragging and lying like an arrogant child. That's what All Might turns society into…don't you see? People living in this world are just _children_ , whining little _children_ who can't remember the taste of fear in the back of their throats, or the respect owed the demons in the night who could crush them at any moment."

"Please don't kill me," Mineta begged, his voice thick with snot and tears. He couldn't beat this guy, begging was his only hope! "I lied, I'm not All Might's favorite, he barely notices me, _honest_!"

Shigaraki laughed at that, like nails on a chalkboard. "Oh, I know," he assured the small hero. "All Might may be a curse on this society, but he has a certain demand for competence you don't seem to possess." He leaned in closer as he spoke, his eyes shining with sick amusement between the fingers of the disembodied hand clutching his rotten face. "You're just a whining little boy, desperate to prove he's strong and well connected. _Why don't we play a little game?_ "

Mineta threw a sticky ball at Shigaraki in desperate terror. His opponent caught it with one hand, dissolving the sphere to nothing with a touch. He grinned, and Mineta ran screaming.

' _I have to escape and go get help!_ ' he thought to himself, fear lending speed to his tiny legs as he ducked into a hall of arcade games. ' _This is too much for me! I have to…_ '

The racing game to his side decayed to rotten dust, and Shigaraki dove through with his hand outstretched. Mineta shrieked, barely avoiding the villain's attack. Shigaraki struck the ground instead, and it dissolved in a hiss in a large circle which reeked of death.

' _I can't beat him_!' Mineta howled inwardly. He slipped, crashing to the floor painfully and sliding into an arcade game, denting the front cover.

"I thought you were good at these games," Shigaraki mocked him, his arms stretched out to the side as he walked, deliberately insulting. "A natural hero's instincts, you said. But here you are, messing up your combos and forgetting the button to run. At this rate, you might _lose a life._ " He lunged forward, catching Mineta's arm before he could dash more than a step away.

Grape Juice screamed like a baby, agonizing heat chewing through his flesh, exposing the bones of his hand for a brief moment before they too dissolved into nothing. A knife slashed through his upper arm, severing it from his shoulder before the decay could spread.

"Whoops, I almost ended the game!" Shigaraki laughed, the knife held carelessly in his hands. "Can't have that, I was just starting to have fun!"

Mineta clutched his bleeding stump, wondering if he would ever stop being afraid of death. He ran again, slower this time, trying not to fall, and Shigaraki's laughter followed him. Mineta saw a child hiding under the pool table, his eyes huge with fear.

The pain was too much. Mineta was getting dizzy, his vision going dark at the edges. He stumbled again, falling into the glass prize counter with a shattering crash.

He lay there, struggling to breathe, shards of glass biting into his skin, in a pile of expired candy and plastic prizes. Mineta didn't try to get up. What was the point? He knew he was going to die. Why drag things out further?

Shigaraki stood watching him.

"Oh?" the villain wondered, leaning down. "Have you given up? If you aren't running, I guess you don't need your leg. " His hand clutched Mineta's leg, dissolving him purposefully slowly. His screams were terrible, and the hiding patrons of the arcade cowered in fear. Shigaraki tsked. "It's no fun when an opponent quits, especially when they only did it because they knew they would lose. You weren't much of a player."

His hand touched Mineta's other leg, and it began dissolving just as slowly as the other. Rotten decay hissed into the air. Shigaraki's mouth curled, the sight so twisted and _wrong_ it could barely be called a smile. He was enjoying himself, Mineta realized.

He was almost dead, the process so slow and agonizing it would be a mercy when his heart gave out, but Mineta still noticed when the girl hiding behind the counter stared at him oddly, her eyes flashing gold.

She grabbed a screwdriver from beneath the registers, her gaze empty, and dashed forward with her weapon held in both hands.

Shigaraki stood, stepping to the side as she dove towards Mineta. He touched the girl, and she decayed with a stinking rot, the putrid black dust falling on Mineta like ashes, as the screwdriver clattered to the ground.

Mineta stared.

' _Shigaraki wasn't the traitor? He…just killed me for fun? There was no other reason?'_

The villain turned his attention back to Mineta, pressing his hands to his torso with cruel vindication. He screamed as his ribcage dissolved, exposing his organs for a brief, brutal moment, and then he wasn't screaming anymore. The black decay ate his skin and muscles, until the white bone of his skull flashed beneath them and turned to dust.

Shigaraki stood, staring with satisfaction at the murdered student. "You were weak," he scoffed, childishly annoyed even though he'd won. "Barely even a level one grunt. No matter. Soon I'll be ready to defeat the final boss…and decay this society of heroes and peace."

~o~

 **Remember to drop me a review, everyone! :)**


	8. vs Shinso

**Requested by no one, but Shinso is a favorite of mine, so shush. XD**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: The author was definitely not brainwashed into writing this chapter. Anyone who says that is totally…lying… o_O**

 **~o~**

Minoru Mineta waited in the empty halls behind the gymnasium, a flowery pink letter clutched in his sweaty hand. Today was the best day of his life.

"I wonder which girl sent me the love letter?" Mineta said to himself, his mind awhirl with perverted thoughts.

 _My handsome love, please meet me in the west hallway after class_ …

It was probably Yaoyorozu, Mineta decided, nodding his head firmly. It made sense. She'd been checking him out since day one at U.A. Or even Mina. Her rude attitude towards him _had_ to be an act, who wouldn't fall for Mineta? He would forgive her, after she'd _earned_ it, of course…

It was almost three. Just a minute more, and…

In a flash, the white strips of Aizawa's capture weapon snapped around his arms. "You're dumber than I thought," a bored sounding voice said, as a student stepped from the shadows. His shock of indigo blue hair stuck up in every direction, and the shadows beneath his eyes made him look perpetually tired. "Minoru Mineta."

It was then that Mineta noticed the gold sparking through Hitoshi Shinso's eyes. He bit back his retort, going silent. ' _Great, just great. Well, he can't get me with his Quirk if I don't talk! I won't fall for his stupid brainwashing ability_.'

He supposed the letter had been a trap. Of course, Mineta had known that all along, he wouldn't fall for such an obvious trick…

"Not going to say anything?" Shinso mused, pulling the capture weapon tight. He looked at Mineta with disgust. "I couldn't believe it when I figured out you planned to assassinate Aizawa-sensei. I can't let that happen. But a murder would cause panic in U.A, and the school would lose credibility. You're going to commit suicide."

Mineta didn't speak, glaring at the wannabe hero. The 'traitor' always believed whatever ridiculous scenario was in their head. Talking to him would be useless anyways.

Shinso smirked. "You know how to avoid my power. But I've done plenty of research on _you_ as well. I'll _make_ you talk."

He pulled a notebook from his bag, flipping through the pages. He read out loud, not looking at Mineta. "This is so hard," he said blandly, scanning over his notes. "Make sure it's in all the way."

Mineta froze, going absolutely rigid, his eyes huge. ' _Oh no_.'

"I'm almost there…"

' _Crap_!'

"Be more gentle. I'd enjoy eating that. Roses are blue, violets are red, this is happening backwards…"

" _THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!_ " Mineta shouted, unable to stand it any longer, and his eyes went empty as Shinso's Quirk snapped in place.

The brainwashing hero smirked, loosening the capture weapon and coiling it back around his neck like a scarf. He opened the window behind them. "Jump out after I'm gone," he said, with satisfaction. He turned to leave, walking sedately down the long hallway.

After a few minutes, Mineta obeyed with slow movements, lifting himself over the balcony, and leaping into the open air.

The ground came rushing up to meet him as he fell five stories, the wind howling around his ears.

He had only one thought, as he fell.

' _Worth it!_ '

Smoke whirled, wind chimes sang, and he was still laughing when he woke up in his bed a few days earlier.

~o~


	9. vs Froppy

**Sorry for the three day break everyone, I've been out of town. I'll be sure to mention any future breaks in my author's notes. (Right now the plan is six chapters a week, with a break on Sunday to 'reset' my posting time.) :D**

 **~o~**

 **Reviewers who requested Asui: isaacfarnsworth1**

 _ ***Guest reviews italicized**_

 **Thanks everyone! ^o^**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: I 'frog'ot to tell you, I 'toad'ally don't own Asui, but I'm staying 'hop'timistic. :D**

 **~o~**

The reflection of Mineta's face stared back at him with despair. Clusters of oozing purple pimples had sprouted up overnight, nearly bursting with sticky pus.

"You look gross," Kaminari noted, leaning over to look at the gross super-zits. "Sucks to be you, man. Is that part of your jinx?"

"I don't know, but I'm hideous!" Mineta wailed, his eyes shining with tears as he touched his breakout. "This is the worst! How are the ladies supposed to notice me like this?" The zits _hurt_ , and looked rather nauseating even from a distance. He would have to go to Recovery Girl right after class!

"You look just as ugly as you always do!" Bakugo called out from his own seat in the class, his feet propped up on the chair in front of him. "Stop yapping, class is going to start soon!"

Izuku sat up straighter in his chair with a faint smile, his green eyes widening. His mussed hair stuck out in every direction, as usual. "Oh, that's right, we're having a guest speaker today! Who would believe Mt. Lady would be invited to give us a lecture on gigantification Quirks? U.A really is amazing, isn't it Kacchan?"

"Shut up, you damn nerd, the only giant thing here is how much you suck."

"What sucked was that insult," Kirishima said with a snort, resting his head back on his hands as he leaned in his chair. "You're off your game today, Bakugo. Didja forget to practice comebacks in the mirror this morning, or did it just break when you gave it your classic Baku-glare?"

" _I'm gonna break your stony face, spiky haired bastard!_ "

Mineta's gaze became decidedly lewd as he got caught in his daydreams. "Mt. Lady may be the devil, but she can pop my zits any day," he oozed, practically drooling.

Every single person in class turned and stared at him with disgust, as if he were a stinky pile of human trash. No one had a single thing to say. Uraraka turned away, fighting back her nausea.

Luckily, Asui _did_ know what to say, her large eyes sparking gold. Her long tongue shot from her mouth, wrapping around Mineta's neck in a flash, pushing him out the window with a shattering burst of glass.

Mineta tore at the tongue around his neck uselessly. How was it so _strong_? Asui pulled back, and his momentum stopped halfway to the ground, his legs pushing uselessly against the warm, painted walls of the high school, the slick pink tongue around his neck hanging him like a noose.

The students of Class 1-A looked at Asui, as Mineta's struggles and choking cries became weaker from out the window. Uraraka spoke first.

"Um…is anyone gonna stop her?" she asked, unsure, her small eyebrows pinched together.

No one said anything at first.

"I mean…he'll be fine, right?" Kaminari checked, shooting Asui a glance. "I _really_ don't want to hurt Tsu. This isn't _her_ fault…"

"Let him die," Bakugo suggested. "Then none of us have to remember him saying that."

It was a good point.

And so Mineta hung outside the window, until Asui couldn't feel the pulse of his heart through her long tongue, and the class forgot.

~o~

A week later, Mineta still hadn't stopped looking at Asui with sad, betrayed eyes. Being hung wasn't the kind of tongue action he was hoping for.

Even when they were assigned as partners in the marsh terrain training, he couldn't help but feel betrayed. At least he had the perfect partner on his side. Mineta was sure to get a top score in this assessment, even if he did nothing at all. "But she did kill me," Mineta grumbled to himself churlishly, refusing to look at his partner as the bell sounded to begin the training.

"Are you still sulking over there?" Asui asked, tapping her long finger to her lips. The Rainy Season Hero sat in a froggy position on the rain slicked rock, wearing her skintight green hero costume complete with thigh high rubbery boots and oversized white gloves. Her bulbous goggles rested on her slick green hair, tied in a bow at her thin waist. "You know, I really am sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Well, actually I guess I did, I just don't remember it, _ribbit_. I can stay a little further away if it would make you more comfortable."

"No," Mineta said, trying not to pout. "You already killed me. _Hung_ me from a window. If you hadn't caught me off guard I would've beaten you, stupid frog…"

"There's no need for name calling," Asui said practically, hopping to another rock as they made it to the edge of the marshy pond. "Let's get moving for now. How fast can you swim?"

"You'll have to carry me, there's no help for it," Mineta said, looking at the pond with sudden excitement. "In your arms, with my head resting on your-" Asui's tongue choked off his sentence, and he stared with bulging eyes at the froggy hero. ' _What? No! Asui…was already the traitor! Is she really trying to kill me?_ '

Froppy dove into the brackish green water of the pond, her long legs pushing them both to the silty bottom, choked with weeds. Her tongue wrapped around Mineta's torso, crushing the air from his lungs in a gasping bubble. His throat and lungs burned as he inhaled water, his wracking coughs silent beneath the still surface of the water.

He tried to struggle, but without air his strength seemed to disappear at once. Darkness edged at his vision, but he could still see Asui floating above him, her green hair waving in the water as she stared at him with empty, gold sparking eyes…

~o~

Mineta woke up coughing, waving away the stink of incense as he stood from the tile floors of U.A's hallways. His body spasmed, as he hacked and breathed in huge lungfuls of air.

"What was that?" he said out loud, because he was quite alone in the halls. Classes must be out for the day.

Asui had been the traitor _twice_? Mineta hadn't known that was possible. Here he'd been scared of all the students who hadn't killed him yet, but he really had to be scared of everyone?

The grape-headed pervert scrambled to his feet. He had to tell Aizawa sensei about this. It was new information after all. Not that their teacher was any good, Mineta thought with annoyance. He hadn't helped Mineta at _all_ , probably because he felt intimidated by Mineta's good looks and skill.

He strode down the halls, his footsteps loud on the tile, turning down a shadowy shortcut…and froze.

Someone was watching him. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled. He just _knew_ there was an enemy nearby.

Mineta whirled, but he couldn't see anyone behind him in obviously empty hallway.

He breathed a sigh of relief, turned around, and a knife slashed into his back. The Fresh Picked Hero crumpled to the ground, his spine severed and his limbs useless, struggling to breathe as his lungs gave out, his gasping sending faint ripples along the surface of the growing pool of his own blood.

He couldn't turn his head.

He never saw who killed him.

But the frog girl detached from the ceiling all the same, her camouflage melting away as she landed in a perfect crouch behind Mineta, the filet knife held in her tongue like another limb, her eyes sparking with gold for the third time in a row.

~o~


	10. vs Deku and Lord Explosion Murder

**Hey everyone! In just two weeks since the first chapter, this story is officially the second most reviewed Mineta story on the entire site! Just five more reviews will make this number one. To make things even more incredible, this story alone has gotten over 4,000 hits since it was posted. You've all been wonderful! I really appreciate the support!**

 **To thank you all, and to celebrate these milestones, Chapter Ten will be a bit special. Featuring not one, but TWO main characters, please welcome Deku and Lord Explosion Murder to the stage! :D**

 **~o~**

 **Reviewers who requested Bakugo and Izuku:** _ **NRSB**_ **, Zuzuzuki, Blank C**

 _ ***Guest reviews italicized**_

 **Thanks everyone! ^o^**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of the things! Not even one of them!**

 **~o~**

Things had been quiet for the past few days, without even a gruesome death or a string of especially bad luck to liven things up. Mineta had been enjoying his break to the fullest. Every breath was wonderful, and even classes seemed less boring than usual.

There was just one thing which was out of the ordinary.

Bakugo kept staring at him.

Staring as if annoyed and confused and furious all at once, his crimson eyes piercing and his mouth twisted into a scowl of frustration. He constantly rapped his finger against his desk, or tapped his foot on the ground, as if the storm of questions in his head were leaking out in his movements. He'd even stopped bullying Izuku as much, opting to ignore his childhood victim while his attention was so diverted.

It wasn't the _worst_ thing Mineta could imagine Bakugo doing, but it was distracting. Every time he looked up, it seemed like Bakugo's angry scowl was looking back at him.

He would have asked what his problem was. Really. If he hadn't been afraid it would result in him being blown up. Or eviscerated. Or otherwise maimed, beaten, exploded, or murdered. Mineta's annoyance was not worth getting killed over.

And so, he ignored Bakugo as much as he could, pretending the spiky haired blond was a gorgeous tsundere woman staring at him with erotic frustration instead to pass the time, until one day he looked up to see Bakugo standing in front of his desk.

Mineta jumped. He couldn't help himself. Bakugo held his bag carelessly over one shoulder with a single hand, glaring down at the tiny boy.

"Have I killed you yet?"

Mineta was already shaking his head as he answered, his heart pounding like a jack rabbits. "N-No?"

"Tch," Bakugo said, turning away without another word, leaving Mineta staring after him with confused terror.

It was quiet until a few days later, until just after a particularly grueling training regimen, when Bakugo appeared in front of him again. "How about now?" Bakugo demanded, scowling ferociously at the grape hero. "Have I killed you?"

"No!" Mineta answered, and Bakugo glowered as he stalked away, kicking a garbage can over as he went.

Mineta closed the door of his locker later that day to find Bakugo glaring at him from behind it. "How about now?" the explosive hero snarled, frowning with annoyance.

" _Look, I'll tell you when you kill me!_ " Mineta burst back.

"Promise me," Bakugo deadpanned, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "And if you don't, I'll annihilate you."

"Fine, I promise!" Mineta said shrilly, and the explosion hero walked away with a final glare. Mineta yelled at his back. "Why do you want to know, anyways, are you the devil?"

Bakugo didn't respond, leaving Mineta staring after him with a confused mix of emotions in his tiny heart.

Despite his promise, Bakugo seemed to become more and more tense as the days went by, especially after hearing the stories of Mineta's deaths by the hands of four second year students with elemental Quirks. But Mineta didn't have time to worry about him, especially after he lost all his sparring matches in a single day. He booked a training room, already annoyed at the loss of his free time, and Iida promised to train with him.

In retrospect, Mineta shouldn't have been so surprised when he opened the door to see Bakugo instead of their class rep, his arms folded and a grin of anticipation on his face. It was late enough in the day that the training room was empty, including the battle arena in the center of the equipment and seating.

Of course, Mineta automatically tried to leave, but the doorknob snapped off in his tiny hands, leaving him trapped.

"Your bad luck gets worse when you're in danger" Bakugo called out behind him, standing on the battle arena in his full hero costume. "And the jinx will actively prevent your rescue by others."

As if on cue, the security cameras smoked and hissed. The flat screen monitors went fuzzy with static as their video source was cut off.

It was just bad luck that the security guard watching the monitors happened to fall asleep a few moments prior.

Just bad luck that the training room wasn't being used by other heroes at that exact moment, despite the busy school.

Bakugo grinned as Mineta slowly turned to look at him with shaking knees and wide eyes, his expression downright demonic. "You wanted to spar, didn't you, Tiny Grapes? _Bring it on_."

Fire bloomed in his palm, and he empathized his final words by hurling a weight at Mineta with the full force of his Quirk. It tore through the air like a hulking, twenty pound bullet, and crushed itself into a flat plate against the wall above Mineta's head.

If he hadn't ducked on reflex, with a totally manly shriek, Mineta might have…

"Come _on!_ " Bakugo shouted, his vivid red eyes alight with battle fever. "Use your Quirk. Try to defeat me! _Give me everything you've got, and die screaming!_ " With explosions snarling in his palms, Bakugo surged forward, the flares of light from his crackling explosive power reflecting in Mineta's terrified eyes.

' _With him in the air like that, I can't stick him to the ground!_ ' Mineta realized in a panic, throwing sticky balls anyways, forcing Bakugo to dodge to either side as he advanced. ' _He's gonna blow me up! I knew it, I just knew it!_ '

Bakugo's next explosion slammed against the ground, hurling him in the air above Mineta's final, desperate barrage of balls. Two more explosions in quick succession changed his momentum forward, then back down at Mineta diagonally, his palm outstretched with sparking nitroglycerin gathering in his hand…

The death he expected never came, as something struck Bakugo bodily from the side. Mineta looked up from his huddled spot on the ground, uncovering his eyes.

Izuku Midoriya breathed hard, his fist still outstretched, odd power surging and sparking around his body. "Kacchan…I thought you might try something like this…but I hoped I was wrong! When I heard you ask Iida to take his place in sparring, I knew I had to see for myself. I've been waiting here since class ended!" He straightened, his normally calm eyes shining with hurt and betrayal. "Why, Kacchan? Even if he's cursed, Mineta is still our classmate! Why are you trying to kill him?"

Bakugo picked himself up from the rack of weights his back had slammed into, spitting blood to the side disdainfully. Despite the pain the blow must have caused, his rough voice betrayed no discomfort. "What are you talking about? I'm the 'traitor'. Can't you tell?" Explosions blossomed between his palms and he shot forward, his fist striking the place Izuku's head had been. The green haired hero dodged with such speed Mineta could barely follow it, but Bakugo didn't give him time to counter, flying just out of reach.

"No!" Midoriya shouted, his fist creaking as he clenched his muscles. "Your eyes, Kacchan…your eyes aren't gold!" He blocked Bakugo's explosive punch with his crossed arms, his feet skidding back a few inches on the ground. His eyes went wide as Bakugo's other fist shot towards his face, and Izuku rolled to the side, pushing off with enhanced strength as he straightened to counter with his own right handed punch in a flash. Bakugo's power exploded _down_ , the explosive strike sending him safely upwards while searing his opponent below him in the same move.

"What does it matter, you damn nerd?" Bakugo snarled, baring his teeth as he smiled, the constant explosions casting stark shadows along the angles of his face. "He'll come back to life anyways! No one will remember this but him, not even the school! _What does it matter if I kill him_?" His words were a howl over the double handed explosion he fired at the green haired boy…and Mineta, behind him.

Midoriya only had a second to react. He dove towards the wall, snatching Mineta with one arm, and pushed off the wall with both legs with all his strength. He cried out as the explosion burned his lower legs, his speed _just_ too slow to carry them to safety entirely.

His heroic rescue seemed to make Bakugo more furious. "Why are you protecting him? He's _scum_! Biojinx cursed him for a _reason_! He'll probably grow up to be a villain someday! Unless this curse gets bad enough that he's willing to _try and change_ , he's just going to continue to be scum!"

" _The only villain I see here is you, Kacchan!_ " Midoriya howled, setting Mineta down as he blocked an explosion with a nearby table, the metal shining red hot as it absorbed the blow.

They seemed more interested in fighting each other than in Mineta. He scooted to the side, and scrambled behind some exercise equipment, hardly daring to believe his good luck. Hopefully they would beat each other down, and Mineta wouldn't have to do a single thing. He hid and waited…and shrieked as another weight crashed into his hiding place, sending the machine skidding back against the floor. A bar slammed into Mineta's head before it settled, and shining sparks flew in front of his vision dizzily, his head ringing like a drum.

He heard Midoriya cry out with pain, and Bakugo's victorious shout.

"Mineta!" Izuku called out, his echoing voice cutting through the haze of the grape hero's mind. And then: "No, Kacchan, _don't!_ "

An explosion roared, a crash echoed around the room, and when Mineta looked up, he saw Izuku standing in front of him, his arms outstretched and smoking, with a stunned Bakugo staring at him through his mask.

How had he moved so _quickly_? Mineta gaped, wondering if he was just confused because of his concussion. Surely Midoriya hadn't been able to cross the room in the blink of an eye…

"You can't!" Izuku gasped, his torso burned and bare. "He's still…our classmate! You can't kill him for no reason!"

Bakugo didn't attack right away, his voice shaking with fury. "You fucking nerd…everything you do pisses me off! Just once, can't you see things my way? Just once can't you stop being such a pathetic weakling?"

Midoriya smiled. It was a sad smile, resigned and without much hope. "I can't do it, Kacchan. Even if he deserves it. Even if he has it coming somehow! I could _never_ …"

He stopped.

Stopped mid-sentence, his arms falling to his sides.

And power surged under his skin like living lightning, so powerful the air around him hummed with strength, and when he tilted his head back to look at Mineta, his golden eyes were bright with hatred.

In the same second, the same _instant_ , he tore the heavy exercise machine away from Mineta like it weighed _nothing at all_ , exposing the concussed hero on the ground.

Bakugo looked like fucking Christmas had come early. Like it was the best day of his _life_. "Oh, _hell yes_!" he shouted, as Deku's super powered fist surged towards the ground, shattering the concrete into a crater of destroyed rock, making the terrain nearly impossible for Mineta to evade them on. "Finally!" he shouted, his predatory grin widening as explosions roared behind him, and his legs snapped Mineta's head to the side with two consecutive kicks.

Mineta knew he should fight back, _knew_ he was actually in trouble now, but his head was muzzy, and his limbs wouldn't respond right away. His ears rang, and he tasted blood…

Midoriya's punch shattered his ribs like matchsticks, and he surged backwards like a bullet, only to be struck by Bakugo's explosive, destructive power from behind, which shot him back towards Deku.

"Catch, you damn nerd!" Bakugo howled, clearly enjoying himself.

"One for All…" Midoriya shouted, his muscles creaking as his clenched fist shone with power. " _One hundred percent_!" His fist connected with Mineta's stomach, and it was like every bone in his body shattered at once. Maybe they did. Mineta couldn't even scream as his back hit the ruined floor with meteoric power…

But when he looked up, Bakugo was above him, his twin grenade gauntlets shining with bloody light. "Die, you damn extra!" he shouted, and a hellish explosion of fire rained down on him with a burst of gold and scarlet, the heat so intense Mineta's shattered bones were seared black before they disintegrated into dust.

Black smoke filled the destroyed room, swirling over the destroyed floor, which featured a brand new crater of molten hot rock with an ashen smear in the center. Bakugo laughed, clutching his stomach.

Izuku shook his head, touching his forehead faintly as the gold faded from his eyes. " _Kacchan_! What happened here?"

"You fucking killed Mineta, that's what happened," Bakugo snorted through his laughter. "Punched him to oblivion! That might be the first useful thing you've ever done."

Izuku looked down at his shattered arm, which did indeed look like it had destroyed Mineta. Panic sparked through his eyes, and his voice went high with shock. "But I didn't mean to! I must have been the traitor, right? Oh _no_ , what would All Might say? And if I killed him, where did all this smoke come from?"

Bakugo didn't answer. He was still laughing when the current reality faded, whispering back into a possibility.

~o~


	11. vs Pinky

**Reviewers who requested Mina Ashido: Blank C, Andes Aurora, Bloody Simpson Chibi**

 _ ***Guest reviews italicized**_

 **Thanks everyone! ^o^**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Mina, but she's such a cutie! I love her design. :D**

 **~o~**

Disco lights flashed and reflected on the surface of the scarred ice skating rink in a dizzying array of colors, as the hero Grape Juice skated for his life. The acrid tang of bitter acid burned cold in the air. Mineta had never been a strong skater, but today he was very _motivated_ not to fall.

A stream of acid ate away the ice to his right, and Mineta screamed, as a few stray drops ate through his pant leg. Curls of smoke and steam rose from the ice as the acid bubbled and ate through the surface. The heavy beat of the electronic song above pulsed, in time with the bursts of laser lights in the skating rink.

"I just wanted to watch you skate!" Mineta shouted, knowing it was useless, as the pink skinned girl glided behind him, closer and closer with every passing second. "I wasn't planning anything dirty, honest!"

Which was mostly true. When Mineta first heard the acid hero loved skating on her day off, and, even better, had an upcoming competition she was renting the rink to practice for after hours in the local recreation center, he'd immediately made plans to spy. All it had taken was hiding in the bleachers after the skating rink closed to the public with his camera, but then, _of course_ , the bleachers had happened to break during Mina's disco performance, revealing his location.

He'd already had the skates on, since he'd had to rent them to get in to the bleachers of the rink in the first place, with his shoes left as collateral.

Acid had sealed the edges of the exit shut in no time.

The jinx had naturally activated, and now a smiling Mina was skating after him with gold glinting through the black sclera of her eyes, looking absolutely gorgeous in her lilac and teal camouflage uniform, her arms and shoulders bare and glinting in the fantastic array of lights. Acid hissed hungrily from the ends of her long fingers, pocking the ice with tiny, steaming craters in her wake.

She was so much _faster_ than he was!

She skated directly to his side, seeming to float and glide above the ice, a stream of pink acid shooting from her right palm. She banked, turning in a large circle, her spray of acid creating a steaming barrier he couldn't possibly skate across.

Mineta's arms pin wheeled, and he barely stopped before hitting the acid line, but Mina never paused, whirling in a large, graceful circle with her acid never abating, until they were trapped in the center of an arena with steaming edges.

Mineta struggled to keep his balance while standing still, throwing three sticky grapes at the skating hero without falling over. Her graceful hand snapped out in a flash, eating the grapes down to goo with a pinpoint stream of acid.

It wasn't the first time he'd tried to trap her, but her Quirk cancelled his out far too well, even without Biojinx's curse. Mina laughed, her white teeth glinting as she threw back her head, having the time of her life. Her feet shifted and wove together as she moved, making her complicated skating look effortless and graceful all at once. The beat of the song thrummed through the air. The shining facets of the silver disco ball cast fantastical patterns on the ice below, as lights pulsed and danced in a rainbow of whirling spotlights.

She whirled faster, one hand spraying acid at the edge of their arena, making their ice circle smaller and smaller, while she fired quick bursts at Mineta with the other, forcing him to keep moving and stay off balance.

"You're gonna run out of ice too, you know!" Mineta shouted…and crashed down, a stream of acid he hadn't seen melting the blades off his skates. He hit the ice hard, the chemical cold stinging his palms.

In a flash, Mina broke formation, surging directly towards him with liquid grace. He had a grape in his hand ready to throw, but instead of attacking him, Mina _leapt_ , high into the air.

Acid streamed from her rosy fingertips like a hose, as she whirled in circle in midair, her acid whirling in an ever smaller wheel, melting the entire circle of ice below her to molten slag, with Grape juice in the center of it all.

He screamed as the ice collapsed beneath his feet, dissolving into a quagmire of chemicals and acidic slush, eating away him away bit by bit at the center. The music rose to a fever pitch, and Mina landed on the acidic swirl, her skates dissolving near instantly. Acid streamed from her bare feet, and she surfed a quick whirl around the sinking pit of ice and acid, spraying the trapped Mineta directly with both hands as the disco ball flashed directly above them.

When Mineta's screams faded and choked away, the Ridley Hero, Pinky, leapt gracefully from the whirl of melted ice with bits of Mineta, landing on the edge of her circle of destruction, bowing to imaginary fans with a laugh on her lips and a smile on her face.

~o~

 **Fun Mina facts! Her last name, 'Ashido', is a play on the Japanese pronunciation of 'Acid'. She originally had longer hair and more complex horns, but her design was simplified for the final draft. :)**

 **Also, her first name, The Ridley Hero – Alien Queen, was a direct reference to Ridley Scott's movie, Alien, about a creature with acidic blood.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	12. vs Ibara Shiozaki

**Again unrequested, but Ibara is adorable and underrated, so here we are. :D (Class B gets no love, lol) I actually don't know her hero name. I've heard 'Maria', and 'Vine', but since I'm not positive, I'll just use her real name for this chapter.**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Ibara Shiozaki, but I do know her favorite food! Due to her plant Quirk, she prefers a 'light' snack, ehehehe.**

 **~o~**

"Oh Father who art in heaven, please grant me the strength to purge this evil from the earth," Ibara prayed, her pale hands clasped together, with her head bowed in reverence. Locks of her thorny hair slipped over her shoulder, basking in the shifting rays of sunlight filtering through the whispering leaves of the training forest.

She lifted her face to the light, her dark green eyes shot with gold slipping closed with pleasure as she basked in the light, an expression of pure bliss on her beautiful features. She wore a white robe of simple, cascading fabric, like the holy robes of a priestess. The snaking tendrils of her hair shot out, waving and curling as they grew into a living tangle of thorns, catching several sticky grapes in midair.

The tendrils of vines entangled with the balls detached themselves, falling harmlessly to the ground. Mineta gritted his teeth, wondering what another hero would do in his situation.

Ibara turned her gaze towards him, stretching out her hand imperiously, and a tide of cruel thorns whipped towards the tiny hero. "Grape Rush!" Mineta shouted, throwing an armful of grapes into the tangle, buying himself a little time as the vines stuck together, writhing and snapping until sap dripped to the earth.

The grapes fell to the ground, entangled in broken bit of vines, and more came, never ending and unstoppable.

Run, Mineta decided. Another hero would _run_.

But not him. "You think I'd leave here without rescuing my most important people?" Mineta shouted, rallying for another strike. "I'll never abandon them, you hear me! _Eat my balls, plant freak!_ "

Ibara had lured him to the forest, after taking her hostages! If he'd told the teachers, she would have already sacrificed them! Mineta would _never_ let that happen!

"Such wickedness," Ibara murmured sadly, placing a hand over her heart with a pained expression. "You would fight so hard for such filth?" She touched the leather satchel at her waist as she spoke. "It must have been heavenly intervention which sent you to me, so I could cleanse your impurities with divine power!"

The bag contained his twelve terabyte drives filled with porn, of course.

"Those actresses are more important to my than my own family!" Mineta yelled, his little brain working furiously on a strategy to snatch the bag and run. "Do you know how much work it was to gather all that content? _How much time?_ I'll die before I let you destroy those videos!"

"Then perish," Ibara Shiozaki said calmly, her eyes imperious beneath her crown of thorns. " _Via Dolorosa_!" she called out, her voice a prayer to the heavens, and vines snaked over the ground, covering everything in sight in a thick layer of thorns.

Mineta tried to run. The vines were far too fast, tangling his legs until he crashed to the ground.

In a flash, the vines grew up his legs and torso towards his arms. "I won't go down so easily!" Mineta howled, with just enough time to throw more balls towards the overpowered Ibara.

"Faith's Shield!" Ibara shouted, lifting her hand to summon a wall of thorns to protect her, which detached from her hair to form a powerful defense.

More balls struck the defense, but it was no use. The encroaching vines bound Mineta's arms to either side on the spike of thorns, until he was suspended in midair on a cross. Ibara stepped out from behind her shield.

"Let the sins of the unworthy be baptized in your holy light…" she prayed, her hand clasped in an entreaty to the heavens.

"H-Hey!" Mineta shouted, struggling as the thorns tightened around his wrists, cutting into his skin until blood dripped from the wicked edges of the spiked vines. The vines never stopped growing, curling around his throat and forehead like barbed wire, the pressure growing tighter with every second.

"Oh, Father, carry this soul to its final destination, in the fiery pits of damnation!" Ibara prayed with heartfelt fervor, as sunlight cast a halo of light on her angelic white robes, and glinted in her thorned hair, both beautiful and cruel.

The cross of thorns thrust into the air, as vines encircled Mineta until he was entirely hidden from view under the mass of pulsing plant life. Red seeped from the cracks between vines, oozing down the cross.

" _Ultimate divine move!_ " Ibara cried out, slamming her hand together with a crack. "Crucifixion!"

The vines condensed, crushing themselves together into a tiny ball with a terrible snapping crunch.

A few drops of blood stained the hem of Ibara's pure white robes. She knelt on the ground in the sun soaked clearing, breathing a sigh of relief. She stood, radiating serenity, as her vines retreated, until her long hair was back to normal.

"Judgement has been carried out. The evil is no more."

She turned to walk away, not looking at the crushed body behind her, her work complete.

~o~


	13. vs Cellophane

**Reviewers who requested Hanta Sero: CanadianBlitz, and Isaacfarnsworth1,** _ **Zangetsuga**_

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 **Disclaimer: I don't own Cellophane, but one day I'll catch him on tape for sure!**

 **~o~**

It started with a completely innocent comment no one could possibly blame him for.

"You should've seen this girl at the strip club," Mineta simpered, his eyes glazed as he daydreamed of the encounter. "She looked exactly like Yaoyorozu."

"Dude, how'd you get in a strip club anyways?" Kaminari asked, making a valid point. "You're underage."

"I have my ways," Mineta bragged, leaning back in his chair. Class was long over, but a few pockets of students remained in the class to chat or look over their assignments. "Course, even though the girls were stripping, some of them wore more than Yaoyorozu does in her hero costume…"

Todoroki stood, his book snapping closed with a little more force than necessary. He looked down at Mineta with cold, mismatched eyes. "You shouldn't speak with such disrespect towards your classmates. Clean up your act, or you'll never make it as a hero."

With that said, he let, as if the air itself were tainted with Mineta's presence.

Mineta didn't care. "Tch. What's that guy's problem?"

"So, how hot was this girl?" Kaminari asked, leaning forward with a half grin for more details, and Mineta gladly launched into the tale.

But unbeknownst to him, another boy was watching, with faint disgust on his plain features.

Mineta didn't notice, barely even registering the other boy's presence in the class, caught up in his exaggerated tale of the girl who looked like Momo.

He didn't notice the boy passing by when Mineta sneakily took a photo of a girl's panties after she'd tripped painfully in the hallways, without bothering to help her.

In fact, Mineta didn't notice the boy at all, until his voice echoed through the boiler rooms when Mineta thought he was alone.

"You're not a good person," Hanta Sero said, his voice echoing oddly in the steaming room. He didn't look happy, a frown on his features, as though weighed down by a terrible problem.

Mineta swore, struggling to cover the box of stolen gym shorts he hadn't dared to hide in his room. "Hey, what, were you following me?" he demanded incredulously, as if Sero were the one at fault. "Talk about creepy, don't you have anything better to do?"

Tape shot from Sero's oddly shaped elbow joints, whirling around Mineta in a vice trap, slamming him backwards so gym shorts flew all over the concrete. "I mean, you're a really awful little slimeball. Even your motivations for being a hero are bad! You're just obsessed with boobs. How is it fair, that you get to be taught in the same class as the people who really want to make a difference in this world? The people who _honestly want_ to protect their loved ones, and make the streets safer, huh?"

" _Hey_ , my motivations are just as good as yours!" Mineta protested, struggling against the tape. He should have been used to random attacks by now, but it never really got easier. "You think your tape can stop me? This is nowhere near as sticky as my grapes!" Already, the tape was beginning to loosen a little with his struggles, as the glue lost its viscosity. "Like a weakling like you could kill me! Your Quirk doesn't have any real power!"

Hanta Sero lifted both his elbows, firing streamers of tape towards Mineta, binding him like spider silk. His eyes sparked with gold, but somehow, there seemed to be less of it than with the others. "I can increase the stickiness and power of my tape," he admitted, striding forward, and for the first time, Mineta noticed the unremarkable boy was actually extremely tall and well built. His shoulder muscles rippled as he flexed, tearing the tape off with a snap.

"But you're right. My abilities aren't suited for death. Normally, that is."

He stepped forward, unwinding a length of glossy tape from his elbow joint, slowly and carefully. He stuck the tape over Mineta's mouth and nose, cutting off his air supply with terrible finality. Mineta struggled, unable to breathe, the tape so strong it was practically welded to his skin.

"I left your eyes uncovered," Sero said, with the air of someone who has planned their next move thoroughly. He stood, walking over to the large metal manhole cover in the corner of the room, dragging the struggling Mineta with him. "I want you to see. I've been waiting, you know, until you came down here. Do you remember your cleaning punishments? I heard you had to clean the sewers. Did you know…no one ever bothered to get rid of those mutated crocodiles?"

His eyes went wide with horror. Renewing his struggles did nothing, as Sero lifted the cover, and stuck another length of tape to Mineta's bound back.

He pushed Mineta into the dark pit without hesitation, the spool of tape unwinding or a good, long while, before snapping into place so Mineta hung over the infested sludge below on a bungee cord. Sero tossed a flare into the pit, where it struck the walkway far below, and shone with brilliant white fire.

Metal screeched as Sero lifted the cover back into place, leaving Mineta alone.

In the filthy sludge below, movement caught Mineta's eyes as he struggled futilely, his lungs on fire and his arms bound.

Eyes stared up at him, dozens of hungry eyes, gleaming in the light as sinuous forms curled through the water, their details obscured.

One of the smaller crocodiles leapt first, only ten feet long, its snapping jaws filled with actual shards of crystal instead of teeth, only to fall short bare inches from Mineta's scalp.

Another leapt, emboldened by the first crocodile, a fiery red specimen who was rotting and melting like wax, whose teeth burned like cold fire when they tore off Mineta's foot.

He couldn't scream through the tape, as more and more crocodiles surfaced, drawn by his struggles, the shining flare, and the dripping blood. They leapt with unnatural strength, some clinging onto him for several long seconds as they twisted their jaws to tear off bits of him, scaled monsters with mutated features.

A scaly head broke free of the water below, larger than most vehicles, fixing on the dangling boy with slitted green eyes. The mutated crocodile hissed, steam pulsing from the cracks in its scales, which shone with crimson light. The smaller crocodiles fled, disappearing into the sewers in a flash, leaving their mostly dead prize above.

The enormous crocodile reared up in the water, baring a mouth filled with thousands of teeth in rows all the way down the thing's throat, so large it could have eaten your average car, and ate what was left of Mineta whole, before disappearing into the sewers with finality.


	14. vs Ingenium

**It's official! Grape Squishing is the highest reviewed Mineta story on the entire site! That's so great, and…**

 **Oh. Oh no. This…is an award I never wanted. XD It's a bashing fic, it's a bashing fic, that makes it okay, hahahaha!**

 **All jokes aside, thank you all so much for the support. (Review wise this is in the lead, but favs and follows will take a while longer!) As a thank you, I'll be putting together a special chapter for the next release. Remember, I'm skipping Sundays, so Monday morning be sure to keep an eye out for the special thank you chapter, "vs Stain!"**

 **You've all been wonderful! Thanks for reading, and now onto the Ingenium chapter! :D**

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 **Reviewers who requested Tenya Iida: Omega-Neos,** _ **Graveyard Disco**_

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 **Disclaimer: Not so fast, I don't own Ingenium! I don't have the 'Engine-nuity', ahahaha, I'm still not sorry. XD**

 **~o~**

Mineta dragged his heels as he walked down the sidewalk dejectedly. "Of all the rotten luck with partners," he muttered under his breath. "I just had to get this guy!"

"Keep up, Mineta, we've got a large perimeter to patrol!" Tenya Iida called out brightly from in front of him, his powerwalking pace never faltering. "Ah, can't you just feel it? The sunlight, the smell of the streets – this is hero work! As much as I enjoy class studies, and the theoretical aspects of strategies and mathematical calculations of average force and velocity, there's nothing _quite_ as invigorating as a real day in the field!" He laughed, waving energetically to a young boy who gaped in awe of his flashy set of armor.

"How can you feel the sunlight in that outfit?" Mineta grumbled snidely. "This assignment _sucks_. We're just patrolling the safest area of town! We'll be lucky if we run into any trouble at all! I'm _never_ gonna get super rich and famous with assignments like this!"

Iida's voice took on a disapproving tone. "You shouldn't be so concerned with the glamorous aspects of hero work just yet! We are still students after all, so even more mundane experiences such as this one have significant value in raising our overall experience and practical skill, such as teaching us the value of hard work and vigilance even in the face of apparent calm, since we need to be aware that evil could strike at any moment, and…"

Mineta had stopped listening a while ago, but that didn't stop Iida from talking. ' _Where is Biojinx when you need her?_ ' the grape hero thought irritably, wishing he were dead as Iida launched into an explanation of crime statistics in urban settings. " _Kill_ me," Mineta grumbled out loud, depressed at the thought of the next three hours of patrolling with Iida.

" _As you wish…"_ a smoky voice purred through his mind, and he smelled jasmine and sage on the wind.

Mineta nearly fell over, squeaking in a completely dignified fashion that in no way resembled a dying balloon animal.

And his eyes went wide, because he recognized the horned silhouette standing in the mouth of the alley across the street, purple mist billowing around her ankles, from her clawed hands to those gleaming violet eyes!

She was here.

She was _here_!

"Iida!" Mineta shouted, clutching his class rep's hand urgently. "Iida, that's her! Biojinx! We have to-!"

" _Villain!_ " Iida shouted, his voice echoing oddly in his armored helmet, as his hand closed around the nape of Mineta's tiny cape. "You'll pay for what you've done! _Recipro Burst_!"

Engines screamed in a high pitched, mechanical whine, as power exploded from the exhaust mufflers in Iida's calves. They shot forward like a bullet, wind howling around their passage, and Mineta's body lurched with the sudden force of their acceleration, his words torn away.

Biojinx smiled as Ingenium surged past her alley, baring her rows of needled black teeth, gesturing dismissively with her hand, and…

Smoke whirled from Mineta's skin, casting a long plume behind their screaming speed like a jet engine's exhaust, as Ingenium hurtled towards the edge of a brick wall, Mineta held out to the side, establishing a save point _just_ in time for Recipro to reach full speed-

Mineta splatted against the brick wall, as Ingenium surged unharmed past the corner, in a moment of pure agony that only lasted a fraction of a second…

Smoke whirled, and Mineta was abruptly back in Ingenium's grasp, and-

 _SPLAT_!

' _No_!' Mineta realized, exploding against the brick three times in quick succession, agony shattering through his mind…

 _Iida was only the traitor once…_

Splat, splat, splat!

 _But he can't slow down in time!_

Mineta crunched against the bricks, his head breaking with a wet thwack-

Their speed was so incredible! There was only two seconds between his deaths and the new save point!

 _Splat, splat, splat, splat, splat_!

Would he be here forever, Mineta wondered?

Blood splattered up the wall as Ingenium surged past…

If Mineta didn't do something, he'd never get out!

In the time it took to complete the thought, he'd already died nine more times…

After his next death, he snatched at a ball on his head, but he wasn't quite fast enough! His arms shattered against the brick.

A little faster the next time, and three times after that he managed to throw a ball!

It stuck to the ground, and Ingenium stepped over it in a stroke of bad luck.

Mineta howled with frustration, trying again, and again, and _again_ , hearing faint laughter in the back of his mind!

Tenya Iida finally stepped on the sticky grape, stopping his momentum like _he'd_ hit a wall!

Mineta flew out of his grasp like a bullet, and splatted against the wall anyways.

Grape Juice sobbed inwardly, trying desperately to escape again and again, but it was hours later that he finally was set free.

Ingenium hit his grape at an angle, and Mineta was thrown _just_ past the brick wall, his arm scraping against the rough corner. He tumbled and spun across the concrete, and narrowly avoided being crushed by a car!

"Mineta!" Iida called out behind him with horror. "Oh _no_ , what have I done! I was the traitor, wasn't I! Let me assist you!" He struggled with the grape sticking him to the ground, and a screeching whistle stopped him.

"Hold it right there!" a grouchy looking beat cop said, flashing his badge. He had long, floppy ears like a beagle. "All speed type Quirk users must obey the posted speed limit on the roads unless in the case of a villain attack! You know the rules!"

"But…I was under the curse of a villainous monster who turns friends into mindless killing machines so she can eat the lifespan of select individuals for her own dark purposes!" Iida protested, gaping.

" _Sure_ ya were," the cop snorted, flipping open his ticket book. "What's your Quirk ID number?"

"No…" Mineta protested, struggling to get to his hands and knees. "Biojinx! She's…going to get away!"

With sudden determination, Mineta found the strength to stand, bolting towards the alleyway, which was further away than he remembered it. His legs were like jelly, and even though it felt like he was moving through mud after being trapped in the speed of Recipro's death loop, he never stopped running.

But the alley was empty, with a tall concrete wall closing it off on the other end. The last whispers of mist where already fading in the breeze.

Mineta crumpled to his knees, shuddering from head to toe, and took a few minutes just to breathe. _She was right there…she was so close!_

Biojinx had vanished without a trace. As if she'd never existed at all.

~o~

Patrolling ended early. The class rep listened carefully to Mineta's story as they walked back towards campus. "You say I killed you hundreds of times? But how? Isn't the traitor usually different people?"

"Usually," Mineta grumbled, holding his aching arm. "But sometimes it'll be the same person, three, or even four times in a row. But you tried to slow down most of the time, so I think it was only the first time with you. If you hadn't been going so _fast_ …"

"I see," Iida said thoughtfully, glancing down at Mineta. "And in the wake of this latest spree of dying, have you changed your mind about trying to break your jinx by giving up your bad habits?"

"No, of course not!" Mineta responded grumpily. "But when I see Biojinx next, she'll face the wrath of Mi- _net_ -a, just you watch!"

It was unfortunate that Iida's helmet concealed his eyes from view.

His engines roared with power, as Ingenium shifted his weight on one foot, and kicked Mineta's chin with the full force of a speeding train, ripping off his tiny head like a soccer ball. It soared into the sky, winking as it disappeared from view.

Mineta's headless body collapsed to the ground, and Iida stared. "No, not again!" he shouted, grabbing his head with both hands in panic. "What would my brother say! I'm sorry, Mineta, I didn't mean it, and believe me when I say I would never knowingly-"

Reality faded before his rant was finished.

But as smoke whirled and wind chimes sang, it took Mineta a moment to realize he had bigger problems…

…as he reappeared in Ingenium's grasp, splatting against the brick wall with agonizing reminiscence.

" _Noooooo!"_ he shouted into the void, the scent of incense and his own blood thick in the air.

~o~


	15. vs Stain

**Thanks so much for making this story so successful, everyone! We're in the lead by over twenty reviews! The next special chapter will be number twenty. Any suggestions? :D**

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 **Reviewers who requested Stain: _Graveyard Disco_ , and camdawg**

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 **Thanks everyone! ^o^**

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 **Disclaimer: I don't own Stain, thanks to a product called bleach!  
**

 **~o~**

Static crackled on the old tv set in the musty motel room, distorting the tinny voice of the reporter. ' _This footage was accidentally transmitted to the U.A homepage, featuring an incident with a peeping tom within the school. While the school has faced heavy criticism, the student in question, Minoru Mineta, has not been expelled, due to unidentified 'extenuating circumstances'. Nonetheless, many have wondered if this incident might cast a glance into the value system of U.A, and have expressed concerns about the quality of the next generation of heroes. In addition to this incident, our reporters have uncovered footage from a previous training session, where the same student states his motivations for becoming a hero are, quote: 'so girls will let him touch their bodies'. The school has not confirmed the authenticity of the disturbing tape, choosing not to comment.'_

' _Next up, a recent jailbreak has released Chizome Akaguro, more commonly known as the Hero Killer: Stain. This notorious murderer was able to escape due to what appears to be a string of bad luck, although officials are looking into the possibility of an accomplice. Heroes are advised to exercise caution in the field, as his current whereabouts are unknown…"_

The Hero Killer stared at the tv set, though he was no longer paying attention to the report. He hunched forward on the musty motel couch, as the glow of a streetlamp filtered through the small, yellowed window, scowling at his own mug shot.

His knuckles cracked as his fingers tightened around the cheap armrest, the wood straining under the pressure, filled with horrible, murderous rage.

Was this the type of hero being groomed to take care of society?

Mineta's face seemed to swim in front of Stain's vision, slack jawed and pitiable, the dazed expression on his face suggesting lewd thoughts.

U.A had to know what kind of person he was. By failing to expel him, they proved their corruption. As if to say trash like Minoru Mineta was still capable of passing their tests, and entering the prestigious ranks of the heroes as a perverted narcissist whose only goals were self-serving and immoral.

Rage shot white hot sparks over his vision, and Chizome gritted his teeth so hard they creaked.

Sparks flew and glass shattered around his thrown combat knife, breaking off the narration of the news report, and Stain stared at his own reflection on the shattered tv set, breathing hard.

No. It was unacceptable. For the sake of the future of heroes…to prove to society once and for all that scum should never be idealized under the banner of false power and popularity!

"The target has been identified," the Hero Killer Stain said, his voice a rasp of hate, the dying sparks of the tv shining in his blood red eyes…

~o~

It was the end of a long day for Mineta, but he was pleased as he walked the dusky streets towards U.A, his shopping bag filled with dvds and small boxes. ' _I can't believe I got the deluxe sexy female All Might figurine!'_ he gloated inwardly, clutching a little tighter at the plastic bag with his sweating hands. ' _I'd like to give her the Manchester Smash, ehuhuhuh.'_

Silence hung over the city like a shroud, broken only by the sound of Mineta's footsteps on the rough pavement. He'd taken to wearing his hero uniform every time he left the school, to show off his coolness and strike up conversation with the ladies. His majestic cape fluttered in the wind. One day, when he'd hit his growth spurt, he would have more girls than he knew what to do with…

A cold wind blew, rattling the plastic bag, and two dvds from the overstuffed bag clattered to the pavement. Mineta scowled, crouching down to pick them up. He carefully inspected the dust covers for scratches which would impair their collectors' value, and sighed with relief when he found none.

"Well, Mineta, I guess this is your lucky day!" the grape hero said to himself, tucking the adult films back in the bag carefully. He walked past a darkened crack between buildings, whistling smugly to himself.

A katana flashed, drawing a burning line off agony across his legs. Dvds clattered to the ground as Mineta fell, the tendons in his thighs severed and useless. Blood pooled on the streets, growing by the second.

A heavy boot kicked him over, and ground into his throat to muffle his screams. Mineta's voice choked off, as he looked up at the dark silhouette of his attacker, his vision blurring at the edges.

The man stood dark in front of the moonlit sky, standing in an odd, hunched position, his arms hanging low to his sides. He wore plain dark clothes, though his arms were bound with bandages, and a scarlet scarf trailing torn edges to the ground. The tattered bandages of his roughhewn mask fluttered behind the Hero Killer, as he shifted the katana in his calloused hands, staring at Mineta with hungry bloodlust.

"Student or child, hero or the elderly, it makes no difference…the unworthy must be purged, like the blight on society that they are…" Stain said with ominous sincerity, bringing his katana up to his long tongue, grimacing at the taste of Mineta's blood. "Even you, child, are not free of your obligations. You who seeks to take up the mantle of a hero without pure intent…you who represent the corruption within the values of U.A, the top school of heroes…have you made peace with your gods, you filth?"

Paralysis struck Mineta with the beat of his heart, his muscles frozen and useless. Wetness stained his pants, and blood pooled ever larger around his tiny body. He could only stare as Chizome Akaguro stared down at him in the night, his blood dripping off the chipped blade of his wicked sword.

Stain crouched down, leaning in closer to bare his tombstone teeth in a smile, his deranged eyes staring at Mineta with anticipation. The gaping hole where his nose had once been was just visible beneath his tattered white mask. "When your corpse is found, just outside the school that was supposed to protect you, bloodied and savaged by a monster, perhaps then the world will see just how unworthy you truly were."

His arm flashed as he spoke, driving his combat knife deep into the muscles of Mineta's shoulder.

He couldn't scream through the paralysis, though he certainly tried.

Stain reached for his belt, drawing another knife, and stabbing it deep into Mineta's other arm.

He struggled inwardly, but it made no difference…

Stain held his katana in both hands, cleaving a fine cut from Mineta's throat down to his stomach, slow and torturous. Blood bubbled from Mineta's lips as he struggled weakly, his heart spasming and jerking with strain.

"The unworthy must be purged," Stain declared, staring impassively at Mineta's fatally wounded body. "You should have died before being allowed to breathe the same air as All Might. It's only fitting that you should perish on the streets like the filth that you are…"

Mineta's vision hazed over, and when it cleared, Stain was already gone, vanished into the night.

He couldn't move. He could barely breathe, the paralysis preventing anything but the shallowest of breaths. He was starting to get cold, though the night was warm, and _why_ hadn't Stain just cut his throat and been done with it…

He vaguely remembered hearing a civilian scream, sometime later, but by then he was too far gone, his body too destroyed to even open his eyes anymore…

When the wind chimes of Biojinx's curse sang, he was pathetically grateful as he slipped into smoke.

~o~

 **Disclaimer: Stain clearly had a hidden weapons/costume stash, which is how he had clothes and knives. Totally. It wasn't just for convenience. XD**


	16. vs Can't Stop Twinkling!

**Reviewers who requested Aoyama: Andes Aurora**

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 **Disclaimer: I'd need sunglasses to own Aoyama, because that glitter is out of control!**

 **~o~**

Sparkling lasers cast dark shadows on the trimmed rose bushes and delicate wrought iron tables in the indoor atrium, as Minoru Mineta tried desperately to find an exit.

Aoyama laughed, thrusting his stomach out as short bursts of glittering lasers filled the air. "You cannot hide forever, _petit raisins_! Don't be afraid, with that special armor you're wearing, my full strength laser won't hurt you! It will merely shine like the light of a thousand, glorious suns, in an effervescent rainbow of unfiltered fabulousness! I must see it!"

"I'm _not_ wearing special armor, you twinkle headed fruitcake!" Mineta yelled, a he leapt over a rose bush to avoid a laser. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Why _yes_ my twinkling armor _is_ special!" Aoyama laughed, flipping his hair fabulously. The Shining Hero: Can't Stop Twinkling, was decked out in his full, and not at all over the top hero costume, with chivalrous medieval armor which gleamed silver in the light, fantastic scarlet sunglasses shaped like the outstretched wings of a bird of paradise, and a glittering, royal purple cape which shone like a thousand diamonds.

The lasers were dangerous, but Aoyama was also stuck to the ground in the middle of the atrium with a trio of sticky grapes. He could fire in nearly every direction, by using his shoulder and knee emitters, making it difficult for Mineta to maneuver, but he was rather well motivated.

Aoyama twisted his torso as best he could, firing another navel laser at Mineta. It seared just to the side of him, not quite far enough over, tearing a blackened hole through the gorgeous rose bushes. "You are a slippery one!" Aoyama scolded good naturedly, as Grape Juice hid somewhere behind him. "But my sparkle cannot be dulled so easily! _Navel Laser_!"

He bent over backwards firing a shining white laser from his shoulders, and Mineta shrieked as the tops of the balls on his head were burned clean off. "Oh, _you_ ," Aoyama laughed, as if Mineta were a naughty child for dodging his laser beam of death…

Mineta finally made it to the doors. Which were stuck. His face twisted with ugly frustration. ' _Biojinx, you bitch_!' He whirled, every muscle tense as he looked in the general direction of Aoyama, although the rose bushes hid him from view. ' _He can't reach me from here…if I just wait until help shows up_ …'

Glass shattered and tinkled down from above as a full power laser punched a hole in the ceiling. "Where are you, _petit raisins_? The game cannot end so easily! Come to me, and I'll show you the power of my special move, the Art of Seduction!"

' _I don't want to hear that from a dude_!' Mineta despaired inwardly, hunkering down by a white gazebo covered with trailing vines and snowy blossoms. ' _The only ones allowed to give sexy nicknames to special attacks should be girls!_ ' He cowered as another laser burst boomed through the atrium.

For a long moment, it was silent.

Another minute later, and Mineta cautiously crawled from his hiding place.

Had he given up? Mineta rarely escaped from the traitors. Maybe this time…he'd really be just fine!

He looked up, directly into the blue gemstone laser of Aoyama's famed Sparkle Belt, which shone and glittered with inner fire as the gem changed to brilliant white…

"Ultimate move…" Aoyama declared, striking a pose like a true gentleman, his glorious Sparkle Boots still stuck to the ground in the middle of the atrium… " _Navel Laser Buffet!_ "

White hot lasers exploded from his shoulders, knees, and stomach, glittering with rainbow sparkles, striking Mineta dead on in a burst of pure, over the top, extravagance. Rose petals rained from the gazebo as it was torn to kindling, and at that moment, a fine mist of sprinklers turned on, casting glorious rainbows in the light of Aoyama's laser beam of death, as Minoru Mineta was vaporized to shining dust.

~o~

 **Fun Aoyama facts! His favorite thing…is his friends and beloved family!**

 **Just kidding. It's himself. XD He has a lot of similarities with Tamaki Suoh, from design to personality. They were even both born in France!**


	17. vs Mt Lady

**Reviewers who requested Mt. Lady: Dark Mage Wyvern Lord, Canadian Blitz**

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 **Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, so let's give a gigantic welcome to Mt. Lady!**

 **~o~**

When Mineta interned for Mt. Lady, he'd learned the true face of evil.

He'd thought the opportunity would be a fantasy wonderland, complete with a budding romance and his own eventual team up with the biggest cup-sized girl in the business. But no. Mt. Lady had _ruined_ his perception of heroes, and convinced him that women were lying attention seekers with no actual interest in sleeping with the fans they flirted with through the camera.

On screen, she was a gorgeous powerhouse who loved to play up to the eyes, but the truth was far more horrible.

When Mt. Lady wasn't on the job, she acted like a normal person. And a _lazy_ one at that.

Pick up more chips, intern, vacuum the floor, intern! As if he was nothing more than a lowly servant! Her gorgeous persona in public was just a means to an end. In private, she didn't flip her hair and bite her lip seductively, or sashay her hips just enough to catch the eye. Mineta reacted with absolute horror the time she had actually _burped_ a little bit, while watching her own battle reruns on tv.

Yes, Mineta decided. Women were evil. If the gorgeous image they portrayed in videos was a lie, he didn't know a thing about them in real life. He didn't _want_ to know. What was so wrong with living in a world where women only existed to please their admirers day in and day out? Them having bodily functions and realistic emotions wasn't something he wanted to deal with.

Mt. Lady had proven herself to be a real person, destroying the fantasy version of herself he'd created in his head, and he _despised_ her for that.

It was only fair that she _compensate_ him for the trouble he'd experienced, whether she knew about it or not…

And so, the 'hero' Grape Juice found himself huddled on the rooftop of an abandoned store front, his new camera held in cold fingers as he waited for the opportunity to get sexy photos of the gigantification hero. Her hero office was nearby, there had been villain attacks in the area recently, and he had every hope of seeing her in action.

For three hours he waited, listening to the sounds of the city, until finally, he heard an explosion. Mineta snapped to attention, his fingers ready on the camera trigger. Civilians screamed below, and three more explosions rocked the downtown city in quick succession. Grape Juice waited, ignoring the distant cries for help. _Any minute now…_

It took seven minutes for reports of the attack to reach Mt. Lady, and for her to arrive on the scene in all her voluptuous glory, driving the leader of the robotic gorilla villains into the ground with her signature flying kick, the Canyon Cannon. He was lucky. The attack was only a block away from his location; it was nothing his zoom function couldn't compensate for. Mineta drooled as he snapped photographs of the curve of her spine…her sexy hips…even a few hot shots of her feet and ankles…

A familiar face flashed through his camera lens, and Mineta swore, ducking beneath the ledge of the building.

Eraserhead? What was _he_ doing here?

Swearing echoed over the battlefield, along with the clap of more explosions, and Mineta remembered.

Aizawa sensei was taking small groups of students on patrols to assist other pro heroes for a class assignment. Mineta's turn wasn't for five days. Stealthily, Mineta packed up his bag, glad he was so far away from the battle. Their teacher was still angry with him for the shower incident, and if he discovered Mineta taking sensual photographs of another woman without her permission…well, Biojinx wouldn't need to be involved for him to be killed without mercy!

His bag held on his shoulder, Mineta sneakily climbed down the line of grapes on the side of the building, landing on the ground below. He flinched, going rigid with shock as a student was blown across the street by a powerful punch from the villainous robots, right in front of his position beside the building.

For a brief moment, Mineta locked eyes with Katsuki Bakugo, surprise flashing over both their features, and then the explosive hero flew out of sight, only to return to the battle with a roar of fury.

Mineta breathed a sigh of relief. Even if he'd seen the bag, Bakugo couldn't have known there was a camera inside. Which meant Aizawa sensei would never know either. He turned away quickly to make his escape when a dark shadow fell over him.

He looked up just in time to see Mt. Lady's heel smashing towards his face, crushing him into the dirt like an ant.

She reeled, cracking part of the abandoned store as she recovered from the powerful blow. Meanwhile, Kamui Woods managed to subdue the last of the villains with a binding forest attack. "Oh!" Mt. Lady cried out, looking down with horror which quickly turned to relief when she saw the building was the empty store. "My manager would _never_ forgive me if I destroyed another building," she said, sighing with relief, unaware of the crushed grape beneath her heel. "I'm glad I didn't break anything important!"

Bakugo howled with laughter, ignoring the odd stares of his teacher and two classmates, barely able to breathe. "I love her," he snickered, his expression downright demonic. "Biojinx is fucking _awesome_! Did you _see_ that? He got squished like a grape! Serves him right, the tiny little creep! Don't worry, old lady, you didn't break anything important!"

Mt. Lady's eyes flashed with anger at being called 'old lady', her lips pursing into a pout, but before she could retaliate, reality faded, Bakugo laughing without inhibition the whole time…

~o~


	18. vs Battle Fist

**(Sorry I missed yesterday, we had a blackout until early this afternoon! Feel free to yell at the snow clouds dramatically in my honor, it's their fault. XD)**

 **Reviewers who requested Kendo: No one! Because Class B gets none of the spotlight, lol**

 **~o~**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing, so let's give a big hand to Itsuka Kendo! :D**

 **~o~**

"Ahahahahaha, what's _this_? Class A students can't even afford the deluxe spicy soba bowl combo? You inferior humans must despise scrounging for subpar food, when over at Class B we dine on the deluxe bowls every day!" crowed the obnoxious Monoma, his condescension levels reaching near critical levels as he pointed laughingly at his fellow students.

Unfortunately for him, Shoto Todoroki was not so easy to provoke. The cool headed hero spared him a glance. "I like cold soba," he said by way of explanation. Kirishima nodded in affirmation at the next table, speaking up around a mouthful of red hot noodles. Class A was used to Monoma's antics, and paid him no mind.

"It's true, man, it's practically all he eats."

Monoma didn't miss a beat, his voice rising higher until nearly everyone in the lunchroom could hear him. " _Indulging in your favorite food_? How frivolous! Class A students don't have any self discipline! We at Class _B_ know that to be a true hero, self sacrifice is a necessity-"

His eye rolled back, and he slumped to the ground, revealing his ginger haired classmate, Itsuka Kendo, her hand still in the chopping position. She brushed her spiky ponytail to the side, sighing with resignation. "Sorry about him," she apologized, flashing an easy smile to Todoroki. "He just doesn't know when to tone things down."

"I think you mean he's got a bucketful of screws loose," Kirishima snorted, to the general agreement of the boys at his table.

"He's not all bad," Kendo said with an affectionate sigh, looking at the boy she'd just knocked out cold with a single blow. "I guess the competitive aspects of the school just brings out the worst in him, sometimes. He's really pretty smart, when he's not being a total tool."

Todoroki looked at Kendo oddly, blinking his mismatched eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Kendo said, a little self consciously.

"You really are the 'big sister' of Class B," Todoroki said by way of explanation. "I'd heard the nickname before, but now I see why. You remind me strongly of my own sister."

Kendo flushed, immediately defensive, though not entirely displeased. "No, no, I just keep an eye on people, that's all! I really wish I had a different nickname, truth be told! It's not that I don't like the title, but maybe something more in line with my heroic aspirations or strength would be nice!"

Kirishima seemed to understand, grinning widely to expose his pointed teeth. "Something manly, huh? How about Kendo the Crusher, or the Ultimate Kendo?"

As if summoned, Minoru Mineta popped up over the side of the nearby table divider, his perverted intensity shining like the sun. " _If you don't want to be the big sister, how about the sex symbol of Class B!_ _You've got the boobs for it, even if your ass is a little lacking_!"

His shout just happened to fall in a quiet moment in the cafeteria, when everyone was already paying attention thanks to Monoma's rant and subsequent knock out. What little conversation there was died out, as the students stared at Itsuka Kendo for her reaction.

She stared at Mineta in open shock, unused to being treated with such blatant disrespect, stunned into momentary inaction. And then her green eyes narrowed dangerously, her Quirk activating in an instant.

What happened next would go down in U.A history forever.

Itsuka Kendo drew back her hand, which was already larger than Mineta's entire body thanks to her limited gigantification, and slapped him so hard wind blew from the point of impact, and the unfortunate pervert careened across the cafeteria like a bullet, colliding with the ground several times before slamming ominously into the wall.

Students stared. It was like the entire school held their breath all at once.

Kirishima spoke first.

"Kendo of the Ultimate Bitch Slap," he said, his voice hushed with reverence. Other students took up the title, whispering it amongst themselves, and a new title for the big sister of Class B was born as Mineta lay drooling on the floor.

~o~

Principal Nezu set down the papers he'd been holding, steepling his tiny paws as he appraised the two students sitting across from his desk. "Well, while Mineta's injuries are unfortunate, I'm afraid there's nothing the school can do, since the security cameras mysteriously malfunctioned, and none of the students saw the incident!"

"That's ridiculous, the entire cafeteria was watching!" Mineta wailed, covered in bandages and sporting two black eyes from face planting into the wall. The entire left side of his face was red. "Don't tell me _no one saw_!"

Indeed, many students had been called in to relay their version of events from the incident, but all of them claimed they 'hadn't seen anything', and couldn't tell who had hit Mineta into the wall.

"I understand your frustration, but look on the bright side. At least you didn't die!" Principal Nezu said brightly, no doubt chalking the entire incident up to a side effect of his curse. "You should consider yourself quite fortunate things weren't any worse. You two are dismissed!"

Muttering to himself the whole way, Mineta left the room, resisting the urge to kick over the trash can.

Kendo sighed with relief, and looked back at the principal. "Is this really okay?" she asked anxiously. "I mean…"

"You have nothing to be concerned about, Miss Kendo," the principal cut her off smoothly. "There are circumstances surrounding Mineta which are far from normal. I'm sure any momentary lapse in judgement on your part was not of your doing. That being said, please try to avoid a repetition of this incident."

Unusual circumstances? "Right. Thank you, sir!" Kendo said, bowing sharply in the martial arts style, before making her exit. She wondered what kind of circumstances the principal could be talking about…she hadn't noticed anything particularly strange…

She was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn't notice that the students she passed went quiet when they saw her, whispering to themselves as she passed.

"That's Kendo of the Ultimate Bitch Slap!"

"She's a legend…"

"I heard Mineta's face imprint is still in the wall!"

Mineta was decidedly unpopular after his shower incident, which only boosted Kendo's appeal even further for taking action against the tiny pervert.

For months to come, students went quiet with awe when they saw her walking, because Kendo of the Ultimate Bitch Slap had passed.

~o~


End file.
